Saturday, February 23, 2008

Patroclus And Mr BC Discuss...Art

INT. ART GALLERY, FALMOUTH - DAY

Patroclus, Mr BC and Mr BC's best mate (who shall be referred to in time-honoured fashion as 'BM') are looking at an exhibition of Impressionistic paintings of Venice in the gallery where BM works.

ME: Ooh, now, that one's quite Turner-esque.

MR BC: Yes, and this one looks a bit like -

ME: Monet's series of Rouen Cathedral?

Mr BC: No, that wasn't what I was thinking of.

ME: Canaletto, but with a sort of wibbly filter* on it?

MR BC: I was thinking more of...what's that one where Lara has to steal the motorboat?

ME: Tomb Raider 2?

MR BC: That's the one.

BM: Isn't it time you were going?


* A term I learned from Brian Sewell.

26 comments:

Spinsterella said...

er, may I be the last blogger on the planet to say congratulations on the impending mini-Blue-Patroclus.

and...I am very pleased that they have art galleries in Falmouth.

patroclus said...

Thanks Spinny! Hope all's well with you, and that the 23-hour days have eased off a bit. We're keeping the blogosphere warm for you if you ever fancy coming back...

Spinsterella said...

only 22 hours these days. hence blog-lurking.

(I think I need to come back as I've been foaming at the mouth about the gogarty/nepotism fiasco for weeks and I accidentally let it all spill over at patroclus-junior-father's place a minute ago.

Much apologies.)

Tim Footman said...

The 'sphere misses both your wiggle and your deadpan ennui, Spin.

'Wibbly filter' is the perfect encapsulation of Impressionism, I reckon. And I think Mr BC would get on with my dad, whose response to the Mona Lisa was that it needed a wipe with a damp cloth.

extemporanea said...

Spinsterella is not the last blogger on the planet to say congrats, she's at the best the penultimate. I shall surface briefly from my life-swallowing new job to say congrats to you and Mr. BC, yay blue kitten!

Boz said...

Tim - pleased can you dad host his own documentary series on art, a la Sister Wendy? It would be brilliant.

Dave said...

*waves* On Saturday I put photos of wooden furniture, and relevant hymns up, as requested by you (I understand about pregnant women and their odd cravings). You didn't comment, so i assume you were too busy.

It's fast vanishing down my blog posts.

llewtrah said...

I now have a new way of winding up Billy - compare paintings to action movies! Yay!

patroclus said...

I'm coming back to everyone else, but in the meantime, Llewtrah, this is for you.

nuttycow said...

Blimey - and for plebs like me who've never even seen Tomb Raider 2 it means I have even less of an idea about what piece of art in questions looks like :)

patroclus said...

I should point out that this is Tomb Raider 2 the videogame, rather than the film. (Is there even a Tomb Raider 2 film?)

But if that's not enough to go on, the paintings in all their wibbly-filtered glory are available here. No doubt Mr Footman Senior would be itching to get at these with a duster and a can of Pledge.

Rob Hopcott said...

Um, my family did the Tate Gallery at St Ives, Cornwall in twenty minutes flat.

Er, by which time, I'd just got to painting number three on the left hand side.

You know, the one that's not at all Turneresque.

Which, made it frustrating for them because they wanted to go and get some ice cream ... and dad was being very silly looking at the paintings for far too long.

And also, later, dad upset the nice curator guarding type people who claimed it was a day ticket and wasn't valid for a weeks stay with bed and board ...

Nice blog :-)

I shall return!

Er, sorry ...

BTW, did you say there was a Falmouth gallery?

patroclus said...

Extemporanea: why thank you very much, it's always nice to see you around these parts. Also, you're by no means the last blogger on the planet to congratulate us: I haven't heard a peep out of that Iain Dale, for example. Or Faye Dunaway.*

* Mr BC's response on being asked to 'name a famous celebrity blogger'.

Tim: See also the 'dotty filter', the 'square-y filter' and the 'dirt filter'. Actually that last one (the one with which your Dad has a particular issue) sounds more like part of a Dyson.

Boz: Seconded.

Dave: I do apologise, I did very much enjoy your post and I hope I have made amends now.

Rob: Welcome! Perhaps I had better not tell you about my last visit to the Tate St Ives, in which we somehow found our way through the entire gallery to the gift shop (good mugs), and thence to the coffee shop (good hot chocolate, with marshmallows), in about fifteen minutes - although I did very much like this painting, which is not *very* Turner-esque.

Falmouth does indeed have a proper art gallery, and a proper art school, as well as some gallery-shops. Falmouth rocks foreals.

Betty said...

I have to confess that I've never quite understood the fuss made about Tate St. Ives (... not that I'm the best judge of such things, obviously).

Come to think of it, I'm not much of a fan of St. Ives. It seems to be full of people who are more or less giving themselves a hernia in their efforts to be cool.

patroclus said...

Judging by my grand total of two visits to date, I can confidently state that the Tate St Ives building has more going for it than the exhibits. And neither of them has as much going for it as the hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Rob Hopcott said...

Talking about Cornwall - well St. Ives is in Cornwall, not to mention Falmouth - and cool people :-)

My question is:

Are you all incredibly cool down there?

Idly, as I was yesterday, going through Cornish blogs, there seemed to be an awful lot of philosophers, artists and even a few musicians (never mind eh!).

Being as I'm from West Somerset, which is practically in Scotland compared with you guys, I'd be interested in knowing the answer to this question.

Er ... Er .... Um ....

Now I'm going to say this quickly and run...

Er ... Er ....

Do you all watch Corrie like the rest of the world?

(Exeunt rapidly through door ... Sound of feet slapping on pavement, engine revving and burning rubber.)

Marsha Klein said...

"I can confidently state that the Tate St Ives building has more going for it than the exhibits."

Oh thank God! Not just me then. (Although I did like the St Ives colours in the Tate paint range that you used to be able to buy in B&Q)

Falmouth is much, much more pleasant than St Ives and could teach Edinburgh a thing or two about sympathetic waterfront re-development.

Dave said...

No need to apologise. I do hope I wasn't blog pimping. It was just that you'd requested the post, and I didn't want you to miss it by default.

clodhopper said...

my folks mined tin there in 16 something and we still miss it. say hello to Pennance Point for me (my proper name)

homesickily yours
clodhopper
or
http://pennance.net (for the history...like your interested

Sylvia said...

Armed with her Tate membership card, my cousin is planning a visit to all 4 Tates. Shall I tell her not to bother, unless she particularly wants to go to St Ives?

Tim Footman said...

is it terribly fogeyish to admit that my favourite Tate (in fact, possibly my favourite gallery in the whole world) might just be the old one in Pimlico? (I refuse to use the approved nomenclature.)

patroclus said...

Ooh, eek, I have been lost in payroll software marketing brochure hell.

Rob: Is Corrie big in West Somerset then? That's one in the eye for Holby City.

Dave: You are welcome to pimp your furniture-related posts (and any other posts, as long as they're, you know, genteel) around here any time you like.

Marsha: I thought I'd maybe just visited during duff moments in the Tate St Ives schedule, but now I'm starting to think it's (*whispers*) a bit rubbish all the time. Or I could just be a philistine. Still very much like that Victor Pasmore painting, though. Yes, Falmouth is a bit less twee and picture-postcardy than St Ives, thankfully.

Clodhopper: Gosh, that is a fine array of Pennances. When I locate Pennance Point, I shall certainly go there and pass on your regards.

Sylvia: I think Tate St Ives is perhaps only for the completist. Tell your cousin there's good hot chocolate, though.

Tim: I do too. It's deeply unfashionable, but I still love all the Pre-Raphaelite paintings, and the Mad Martins, and (possibly even madder) Richard Dadd, Stanley Spencer, etc. Plus one of my great-aunt's paintings is usually on display, so I feel a sense of familial loyalty.

Sylvia said...

I'll pass the message on. She's not been the same since I bought her that Tate membership. Of course, as the donor of such a wonderful gist, I have been to see most Tate exhibitions in London in the past year. Emotional blackmail is a wonderful thing.

Tim, if one Sunday pm you see two middle aged women discussing their mothers in the basement restaurant at TB in Pimlico, it'll be us.

Sylvia said...

sorry, I meant gift, not gist.

Spinsterella said...

"is it terribly fogeyish to admit that my favourite Tate (in fact, possibly my favourite gallery in the whole world) might just be the old one in Pimlico? (I refuse to use the approved nomenclature.)"

Is that Tate Britain? The one where they put all the, like, old stuff?

Bo-ring.

It's all about bloody great cracks in the floor now daddieo, dontchano?

nuttycow said...

Thanks for the link P... I know even less about Tomb Raider 2 the videogame but I quite like your chaps paintings. Even if he does say arty-farty things like "For me the essence of painting is all about paint"