Monday, October 23, 2006

Hey Mr Lawnmower Man

As you know, on this blog we like to chew over the important issues of the day. Could North Korea test a nuclear weapon inside Second Life? What would the prevailing political ideology be called if Gordon Brown became Prime Minister and appointed 'Sir' Alan Sugar as Chancellor? Should Nelly Furtado be quarantined for avian flu, just in case?

You know, the weighty stuff.

Today is no exception. The other day commenter NIBUS opined that there are no pop songs about lawnmowers. Today commenter JACK SPANNERS retaliated by observing:

Not a song *about* lawnmowers as such, but the Talking Heads song "Nothing but Flowers" contains the line: 'If this is Paradise, I wish I had a lawn mower'. Top song, as well.

And so there we have today's topical discussion topic:

Songs about lawnmowers or that have lawnmowers in them: are there any?

Ooh, it's getting *just* like Comment is Free in here, isn't it?

32 comments:

Marsha Klein said...

"I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)" by Genesis contains the lines:

"Me, I'm just a lawnmower
You can tell me by the way I walk"

I'm not sure if likening yourself to a lawnmower counts, though.

Anonymous said...

see here (www.music.msn.com/album/?album=29461771) for more info on 'The Lawnmower Song' by Eric Tingstad

patroclus said...

Good work Marsha and Realdoc. There may be enough to make a lawnmower-themed podcast yet...

Betty said...

No, not familiar with any lawnmower-related songs apart from the aforementioned Genesis one.

Pop stars with lawnmower-related names though ... Mark Gardener of Ride, Joe Strimmer of The Clash ...

patroclus said...

Lawn Laverge, ex- of Kenickie...

Spinsterella said...

*sings*

One man went to mow, went to mow a meadow - one man and his dog, went to mow a meadow. Two men went to mow, went to mow a meadow - two men, one man and his dog, went to mow a meadow. Three men went to mow...

etc.






(Sorry)

nibus said...

Of course, I missed out the Dead Kennedys' A Child And His Lawnmower (Some clown in Sacramento was dragged into court/He shot his lawnmower/It disobeyed, it wouldn't start)

And Spin, I never understood that song. Is he (er, they) going to make the dog mow the meadow? Why isn't it 'Two men, one man and his dog and his Flymo Vision Compact 380 and an exceedingly long extension lead went to mow a meadow'?

First Nations said...

would the theme music from the movie 'Lawnmower Man' count?


thought not.

Urban Chick said...

i adore 'nothing but flowers' - what a marvellous song

*rushes off to riffle through CD collection*

occasional poster of comments said...

Oh, yes, there are songs about lawnmowers... Let me introduce you to the dubious joys of the spoof death metal band Lawnmower Deth. Not only did the band give themselves pseudonyms like Qualcast Mutilator and Concord Faceripper, they also added to the songs-about-lawnmowers canon such classics as "Seventh Church of the Apocalyptic Lawnmower", "Maim Mower, Maim", and "Sharp Fucka Blades of Hades". The former starts like this:

Enter the church,
See the death,
Hear the lawnmower,
On Satan's breath.


Should anyone wish to know, basically, they spent a number of years affectionately ripping the piss out of death metal, before deciding to record a pop-punk album called "Billy". Which completely killed off what passed for their career. Maybe because it had very little to do with lawnmowers. Who knows? Still, it was actually surprisingly good in places. I mean, no album that contains the couplet Selfish, vain, egotistical / I don't care, 'cause I'm wonderful can be all bad.


Erm, here's some lyrics. Look, don't blame me, I didn't write the things.

patroclus said...

OPC, even if you never ever comment on another blog ever again, you can rest easy in the knowledge that you have left the greatest blog comment ever. I can't stop laughing at the thought of a song called 'Maim, Mower, Maim'. And Nibus, I had totally forgotten about 'A Child And His Lawnmower' as well. This is GREAT! (and I'm not just saying that because I have had an unspecified quantity of gin and red wine). Now all we need is for Mark Gardener and Lawn Laverge to record a punk-pop-shoegaze cover of 'One Man Went To Mow', and we'll have the greatest mower-themed podcast ever committed to MPEG Layer 3 Audio.

Valerie said...

Ok, it's not a mower per se, but there's always the band Suburban Lawns (whose biggest hit was probably "Oh My Janitor (Oh My Genitals)").

There's a band called Nous Non Plus who have a song called "Lawnmower Boy." I haven't heard it, but a blogger apparently considered the band's work as "musically approximating the sound of exclamation points!" Your mileage may vary...

Tim Footman said...

"The local rock group down the street
Is trying hard to learn their song.
Serenade the weekend squire,
Who just came out to mow his lawn."


'Pleasant Valley Sunday', The Monkees

And it's not like Comment is Free. Nobody's attempted to change the subject to Iraq.

Wyndham said...

Lou Weed?

Jack Spanners said...

Well if we're being silly:

Andrea True Connection

Mower mower mower
How do you like it? How do you like it?


I'll get me coat.

Sean McManus said...

Imagine the surprise
when he opened his eyes
and I ran the lawnmower
over his thighs

- Welcome to the Cheap Seats
The Wonder Stuff + Kirsty MacColl

LoRi~fLoWer said...

I'm confused..why are you here? I missed lots. (Er..I don't mean here as in "on this planet" i mean her as in "at a different site."

Yay Podcast!

patroclus said...

Valerie: Welcome! I looked up Nous Non Plus on the Hype Machine and I downloaded a song (not 'Lawnmower Boy', that was sadly unavailable), which I will listen to on the way home.

Wyndham: Don't make me trot out Philip Grass and Faith No Mower.

Jack: As a direct result of your comment, I somehow found myself reading user reviews of Billy Idol albums on Amazon. The internet is a bad, bad place, and you are a bad, bad commenter.

Sean: Sterling work, as ever.

LF: Well, I created some robots and they evolved into evil killing machines, and then they nuked my home planet, and I had to escape via faster-than-light jump to throw them off my trail...or perhaps I just went a bit emotionally wobbly and hid under the bed for a bit, and when I emerged evil pornographers had nuked my home URL and I had to escape via cyberspace jump to throw them off my trail...something like that anyway. Glad you found your way back here!

Tim: I don't know how you can even think of quoting twee psych-pop lyrics about lawns when innocent civilians are being killed every day in Iraq, you disgust me, are you actually being paid to spout this fatuous rubbish, etc. etc.

Spinsterella said...

Yaay - it really is just like Comment is Free - except the comments are funny!

Er. I was just going to disgrace myself further by suggesting 'Ride On' by Christy Moore.

I don't think it's *actually* about ride-on lawnmowers, but wouldn't it be great if it was?

patroclus said...

'Riders on the Lawn' by the Doors?

smoo2 said...

And, by a spooky coincidence (or you have weilded unknown power at the Beeb), 'The Lawnmower Man ' is on BBC1 at 1.10am on Fri/Sat, especially shown to accompany your blog.

patroclus said...

Hi smoo2, long time no see. And hurrah, the Lawnmower Man - the worst cyberpunk film of all time!

Ooh, now that's a whole separate debate...

Anonymous said...

How about 'So Lawnly'?
I don't know about lawnmowers but I now have an entire playlist full of songs with fuck(ing) in the title thanks (in part) to you, which is nice.

PS Do you now where I can download the Lovage song without getting the rhapsody software?

Rich said...

Beccy Owen's song flower involves a small child being traumatised by the school caretaker mowing the field and mutilating her favourite flower. Typographically challenged lyrics here

Erm, nice blog by the way...

patroclus said...

Realdoc: Ooh, what else is on your list? I have an awful weakness for songs with swearing in them. Also, re the saucy cat song, try here...

Rich: Why thank you, and welcome! Your link took me to Blogger, at which I unthinkingly logged in, unthinkingly clicked on 'Edit Posts' and then wondered what the hell I was doing there...freaky. It was just like when you go into a room and then forget what you went in there for.

First Nations said...

As I am , in fact, the person who referenced the movie 'Lawnmower Man'
I AM, in fact, the person who now wields a strange power over the BBC.

WORSHIP ME!! Or else I unleash...

THE DAVID HASSELHOF RETROSPECTIVE

Anonymous said...

Just wondering what you thought of the spoof blog in the Grauniad g2 section today.

My fuck playlist contains all the obvious ones, Dead Kennedys, Martha Wainwright, Tenacious D but no rap because I don't like it.

Tedward's Missing Ear said...

The video for Def Leppard's ultra naff "Let's get rocked"
had a lawnmower in it. Does that qualify it for the podcast? It should, if only for the joy of hearing the classic line "I suppose a rock's out of the question". This line and the one-armed drummer have always given me a shameful fondness for the band. that and the permed mullets obviously.

cello said...

Mmm, can't do this one quite as easily as the space one. In fact can't do it at all.

The only vague contenders are two bits of Purcell: Dance of the Haymakers from The Fairy Queen and the Harvest Home song from King Arthur which goes,

"Our hay it is mow'd and our corn is reap'd
Our puddens are made and our hovels heap'd."

Which got me thinking about desserts in songs...

POE said...

Google suggests:
Mr. T Experience - "Lawnmower Of Love"

I finally remembered to click on BC's link instead of going to the cheap Figleaves site in my favourites.

Jack Spanners said...

Cello - desserts in songs...how about Elvis Presley's "In the Gateau"

llewtrah said...

I have just been reading "Fermata" and a ride-on lawnmower features in an erotic story written by the book's protagonist - aaagh, whether in song or fiction, there is no escape from the lawnmower!