Monday, September 15, 2008

Patroclus Heroically Half-Heartedly Liveblogs Own Labour

Contractions started - most inconveniently, I thought - at 11pm precisely, and have been every 10 minutes for the last three hours. I have a laptop and a supply of chocolate Hobnobs. I expect I'll be here all night.

*Waves to nocturnal blog visitors from exotic timezones*

Don't worry, I'm not going to liveblog any gory details, in fact this may be the last this blog sees of me for Quite Some While...

...unless it all turns out to be a false alarm, of course.

UPDATE 06.55: Not a false alarm, but a bit of a long drawn-out experience thus far. Still, at one point I did make an Excel spreadsheet to analyse the contractions, my nerdiness knows no bounds...

UPDATE 10:08 Ow. Owowowowowowowow. Ow.

UPDATE 11.24: I am 3cm dilated and eating a banana (this is not a euphemism). Fascinating stuff, eh?

70 comments:

Anonymous said...

hardly exotic. London at 2.30am...

good luck! hope it goes well!

patroclus said...

Thanks Anon!

Anonymous said...

think about youtube. for posterity etc.

Clair said...

Yes, you could be like Jordan, who wanted her first birth recorded for posterity.

Hope all goes well.

Tim Footman said...

I'm getting sympathetic contractions.

No, sorry, it was that tarka dhal from last night.

Valerie said...

Well, I suppose San Diego is exotic to some places. It's nearly the exotic hour of 8 p.m. here!

I'll be hoping for a swift and as-easy-as-possible labour for you. The sweater's nearly done, so I guess it's about time. :-)

John Cowan said...

Best of luck!

(Hope it goes better than my daughter, who labored for 22 hours and then had to have a C-section because both of them were exhausted. But her son is World's Greatest Baby anyhow.)

Arabella said...

And now it's 4 am your time. That's a lot of hobnobs.

patroclus said...

I haven't even started on the Hobnobs yet...

Valerie said...

Well, if you're not going to eat the Hobnobs, can I have 'em?

Hope you're getting some, er, catnaps between Blue Kitten contractions. Sounds tiring :-/

Jayne said...

Just make sure they give you all available drugs. And then some more. And don't forget that this is all James's fault...

Good luck!

patroclus said...

Thanks everyone - still here, it's going to be a long day.

Annie said...

Still, at one point I did make an Excel spreadsheet to analyse the contractions...

You are super-cute. Good luck.

xxx

Smat said...

sorry, can't post interesting message, am knitting booties in a last minute panic. Good luck!

Vicus Scurra said...

Can't find the video link. Please advise.

Sean McManus said...

Hurrah! Hope it all goes/went smoothly. What a lovely welcoming gift for the blue kitten - hobnobs.

rivergirlie said...

how fantastic! i'm really excited for you ... all three of you! xxx

miss-cellany said...

Wow! Wishing you a safe and swift delivery. The word "birthday" will have a new meaning for ever more now... x

Sylvia said...

Hello! Are you still at home? What's happening? Hope all goes well. Good luck.

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Brilliant! Hope she makes her appearance very soon. Mind you, I suppose we should have expected this, the daughter of two writers was never going to be any great fan of deadlines.

Annie said...

Ooh! Bonne chance!

Tara said...

awww I was holding out for gory details. Good luck with everything! Have a great birthing. :)

Sylvia said...

Keep eating those hobnobs! This is all very exciting.

rivergirlie said...

i reckon james has now claimed the laptop for the promised d&d session, while patroclus just gets on with it.

GreatSheElephant said...

hooray! Hope the delivery is easy.

james henry said...

I made toast for Patroclus! I am practically a midwife.

Meanwhile, the cat is getting annoyed at the lack of attention.

Salvadore Vincent said...

James - If at any point in the proceedings you stub your toe or anything like that I wouldn't bother mentioning it.

james henry said...

*makes note*

Smat said...

also practise not fainting as midwives have training in how to kick the father-to-be under the bed out of the way to let them get on with things.

james henry said...

This is all good stuff, marvellous.

spence said...

Thinking of you all! well mostly of P of course, do you still have sleeves in your shirt James?
I ripped my husbands whilst shouting obscenities at him during the finally stages!

Henry Dandelion said...

"I ripped my husbands whilst shouting obscenities at him during the finally stages!"

That happened to me as well, only during the conception rather than the birth.

Good luck!

Lucy Diamond said...

Good luck! Hope everything's going brilliantly, can't wait to hear news. xxx

Hannah said...

Eek! Good luck!

Semaphore said...

Ooh! Good luck good luck good luck! This is so very exciting! I wish all the very best, and keep in touch... :D

Valerie said...

Well, I dreamed that the baby was born and that you were resting on our sofa and that Rob was cooking for you while James took over his laptop. (Not an unrealistic scenario had you actually not been thousands of miles away.)

I'm hoping the lack of postings for a few hours means you're at the hospital and more dilated now, at least...

patroclus said...

Just off to hospital now - hopefully back later with photos!

Caskared said...

GOOD LUCK!
from a lurking reader from exotic eastern europe. For 'exotic' read 'cold'.
17:26 EEST, +2 BST or just finishing work time.

mary said...

You have all my good wishes!

Simes said...

Best of luck. :)

LC said...

Stop moaning and get on with it. This kind of thing really should be left to the menfolk.

surly girl said...

ha. i'd pay to see that, lc...

good luck patroclus.

oyebilly said...

Yes, live blogging. If only I hadn't gone to bed last night, I could have lived this.

chatterbox said...

It appears I'm too late for all the excitement of the liveblog, but good luck anyway x

Boz said...

Massive best wishes!

Is this the first birth live-blogged?? You've become you're very own Jordan - but MUCH classier. Amazing!

Delirium said...

Ooooh I leave my computer for 24 hours and I miss all the excitement. Good luck and best best wishes to you all. I've never had any myself but this is a great day of the year to be born... I should know, it's my birthday!

Stef the engineer said...

Hugely enormous amounts of good luck, and then write lots of useful advice for those who are looking to the blogosphere for advice.
Seriously, hope all goes/went well!

Fat Roland said...

Yeeee, I'm actually excited!

spence said...

Me too!

Oli said...

Hurrah! Good luck!

smoo2 said...

Good luck from me too. Hope all has gone well.xxxx

Belladona said...

How exciting! I do hope all has gone well. I'm so glad you didn't have to be induced. Good luck!

The Bureauista said...

Hurrah! I'm an auntie. Congratulations both.

rivergirlie said...

hooray! congratulations all - and welcome, blue kitten xxx

Matt said...

I've just had a phonecall from a very tired sounding James. Blue Kitten was born about an hour ago, weighing what sounds to me like a considerable 7lbs!

Congratulations to all three of you, can't wait to see you!

rach said...

Congratulations! And hello there blue kitten.
(rach, and orb and m)

Valerie said...

And a whoop of hurrah from the other side of the planet!

smoo2 said...

Congratulations! Looking forward to pics!

cello said...

Oh my goodness me. I don't know what to say. All overcome. Pleased you squeezed in a banana.

Hello blue kitten.

*wipes away tears*

Sylvia said...

Oh my goodness - baby's here at last!
Well done all of you! Looking forward to all the gruesome details...

chuffy! said...

Many congatulations. They are wonderful little people to have around...do enjoy her.

Tim Footman said...

Is it true they're going to call her Hadron Collider?

Simes said...

It's a pretty name.

Arabella said...

The baby is here - more tea and biscuits Matron!
xx to all.

spence said...

Nappy Days!

Hurrah for Blue kitten!!
xx

Jayne said...

Congratulations!

chatterbox said...

Great news - Congratulations!

And hello to Blue Kitten. I hope you are all recovering nicely from all the excitement.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

Loving congratulations to all three.

The G-word is made flesh...

...and it was St Orlando's day yesterday. Don't know if this has any significance?

Boz said...

Turns out having a baby is a brilliant way to bump up the traffic and comments on your blog.

[ponders...]

Salvadore Vincent said...

Congratulations to you all!