Sunday, September 21, 2008

Patroclus And Mr BC Discuss...Lactation

INT. BLUE CAT/QUINQUIREME TOWERS - DAY

MR BC: I'm going to the shops. Do we need anything?

ME: Erm...some milk. And some cat biscuits.

Pause.

ME: And a cabbage.

MR BC: What kind of cabbage?

ME: One with really big leaves.

29 comments:

oyebilly said...

I was about to post a smart-arse response to this, then suddenly the cabbage thing made sense.

chatterbox said...

Ouch!

Sarah said...

Oh dear. Apparently it does get better...

Jayne said...

Yikes. You have my sympathy.

spence said...

Oh dear, I remember that :-(

Good to see you back, seems like its been forever!!

patroclus said...

Ah yes, what with the sleepless nights and the tearfulness and the stitches and the terrible anxiety that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, I thought it best to stay away from the blog for a bit...

Jayne said...

Oh come, vent, cry. You never know - someone might have useful advice (not me I hasten to add - my mothering experience only covers cats).

Valerie said...

Feeling exhausted, in pain, freaked out, terrified, and wondering "What the hell was I thinking and what do I do now?" seem to be par for the course at first. They really sell you a bill of goods about how the moment you see your baby, everything will be instantly wonderful. But it will get better (and I promise you will not break Blue Kitten).

Hang in there. You definitely have sympathy out here, even among us non-reproducers. Also, you are granted a license to whinge, if you care to, with the postscript that it won't lower our opinion of you one whit. So there.

Also, you forgot to tell Mr BC to pick up chocolate biscuits. Obviously one can't be expected to feed a baby without them.

Valerie said...

Oh: also, La Leche League is meant to be a big help... lots of stuff online plus a phone number for your area, there.

Sylvia said...

hmm- who knew that boobs expand widthways...as well as the La Leche league, there's the good old NCT with their breast feeding counsellors. Make sure baby is latched on properly, and keep feeding to avoid the dreaded mastitis.....no, sorry, I've already said too much....just get in touch with someone who knows what they're talking about!
Just don't be hard on yourself - you've just had a baby!
One day at a time! And it does get better. It really does.
Keep blogging.

chatterbox said...

Although it isn't really much consolation at the moment, the first few weeks are a bit tough for everyone I think (or at least they were for me...!). It always seems to be a bit unfair that you have to learn a new job when you are feeling so grotty. It does get better quite quickly though, once you all know what you are doing a bit more.

And chocolate biscuits should definitely have been on that shopping list.

Marsha Klein said...

Savoy cabbages are very good (seriously!) - the leaves are just the right shape. Also I found Kamillosan ointment wonderful for sore/cracked nipples. Ice packs are soothing for stitches/bruising.

It does get easier with time, honestly. Don't be hard on yourself - no-one knows what they're doing to begin with, but you're doing better than you imagine and you're learning all the time.

I hope this doesn't all sound too patronising - I don't mean it to!

Mia said...

Savoy cabbages work well for most ladies, the chilled the better.
Good Luck.


(ok random but true - the word verification is bobbym)

Semaphore said...

I've always thought that teenage years and the first weeks of a new baby are a massive cosmic joke - i.e. you have to deal with something new while you're least equipped to do so. Like, when you're a teenager, you're suddenly OBSESSED with sex, just when you are covered in spots/random hair/too small clothes, and then when you have a baby, you're forced to learn six million new skills just when your brain is full of mush and you're so tired you don't know your own name. Plus they just look so breakable. But I'm told that actually they're a lot sturdier than they look. Also, remember you've got a few weeks' grace period where she won't remember anything. Make mistakes - hell, swear away, Patroclus, swear your head off, because before you know it she'll be repeating it gleefully to all and sundry. :D

But as the others said, don't feel you have to hide away when you're feeling rubbish - one thing I've always found about the tinty is that no matter what's wrong, someone's always experienced a similar thing and will have sympathy if not a solution.

PS Eliza is a beautiful name, I don't know if I said. Does she have a middle name too?

Tim Footman said...

"...and the terrible anxiety that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing..."

To be honest, I'm far more worried about people who are utterly confident that they're on top of things. At least you're not deluded.

Wouldn't a big iceberg lettuce be better?

Arabella said...

I don't really know what's going on but I now gather the cabbage isn't for eating?
That cat has cookies, the baby has a new cabbage hat - for goodness sake get this woman some Hobnobs.

Lettuce Hater said...

one word: lansinoh

it's magic stuff, really it is (and IMO less stinky that kamillosan) - buy it in boots or mothercare...it's 100% lanolin so you don't need to wipe it off to feed

man, those early days are hard

((hugs))

miss-cellany said...

Yep - savoy cabbage is the one (keep it in the fridge) and you will smile about stuffing a bra with leafy vegetables in a few weeks, promise!

Hope all is OK, at the risk of sounding patronising it really, really does get easier.

x

[Might be something useful here too? http://www.realbabymilk.org/index.php?option=com_weblinks&catid=15&Itemid=23}

Tim Footman said...

Maybe Mr BC should stick a cauliflower down his trousers. In sympathy, like.

Smat said...

there's the apocryphal tale of a new dad sent out to buy cabbage who returned with a packet of stir fry veg as there were no whole cabbages...

spence said...

P. you have described exactly how I felt in the beginning!
I remember being onthe phone to my folks in floods of tears wailing 'but I don't know what to do'.....it will get better, get out and about as much as possible.

patroclus said...

Awww, thank you everyone - all advice much appreciated. I'm feeling much better today in any case, which may be due in part to the giant stash of plain Choco Leibniz biscuits that the lovely cello sent (thank you, cello!). Also, Mr BC is turning out to be a brilliant, hands-on dad, ably changing nappies in between writing sitcom outlines, awww.

Jason said...

Plain Choco Leibniz two-for-one at Waitrose at the moment. I'm not suggesting anything about Cello here, just giving another of those "useful hints" you'll be getting used to. Only this one has bargain chocolate at the end of it.

chuffy! said...

Oops. 'twas me with Choco Leibniz info, of course.

patroclus said...

Useful info indeed - although it turns out our nearest Waitrose is 45 miles away in Plymouth. Might be worth it, though...

cello said...

2 for 1 at Waitrose? Shit. Oh well. She's worth it, I guess. Just don't mistake them for cabbage leaves, P. Very messy.

Tara said...

I vote for the Lansinoh (are we really voting about nipple care?). Have talked to more than a few lactating women in my line of work and it's tops.

janey33 said...

Ooooo,yes stitches, now that's pain! Breast-feeding gets much better after the first few weeks. Just keep feeding on demand and the pain and the leaking and the swelling will all calm down. On the plus side, when I woke up on my birthday, three days after giving birth, I thought someone had stolen my feet. I couldn't see them for the two enormous melons that had suddenly appeared on my chest in the night. After a lifetime of 32A bras and jokes about my concave chest, it was the best birthday present ever.
ps, eat a lettuce and Marmite sandwich before you feed her, good for sleep apparently. Chocolate biscuits definitely afterwards!

patroclus said...

Lettuce and marmite, eh? That sounds do-able, thanks Janey! I was reading a list of foods yesterday that I wasn't supposed to eat while breastfeeding and it sounded like a roll call of my entire diet, so I was quite depressed. But lettuce and marmite I can definitely do, hurrah!