1) Went to Truro, had an almond pain au chocolat, lord of all the buns.
2) Discovered there is an archaeological site in Afghanistan called The Minaret of Jam.
3) Decided The Minaret of Jam would be an excellent title for a Fighting Fantasy book:
Deep in the mountains of Northern Afghanistan lies an untold wealth of treasure, sealed in a spindly tower made entirely from fruit-based preserve - or so the rumour goes. Several adventurers like yourself have set off for the Minaret of Jam in search of the fabled hoard. None has ever returned. Do you dare follow them?
Your quest is to find the treasure, hidden high in a tower of pectin, fruit and sugar, populated with a multitude of terrifying monsters. You will need courage, determination and an almost unlimited supply of toast if you are to survive all the traps and battles, and reach your goal - the jam-smeared inner sanctum of the forbidding minaret.
4) Noticed the phrase 'refresh thumbnail' on Facebook's Blog Network app.
5) Added 'refresh thumbnail' to my lexicon of Phrases That Would Have Meant Something Competely Different Twenty Years Ago.
6) Spent a long time wondering how you would go about refreshing a thumbnail.
7) Decided that dipping it in a fingerbowl of icy water and lemon wedges would be particularly expedient.
8) Entertained my friend S. for afternoon coffee and chocolate Hobnobs.
9) Cross-examined my friend S. about her new boyfriend, whom she's been seeing for eight days:
S: ...and we're going to get married and have two kids, so I'm going to have to hurry up and get divorced, and he's going to have the snip reversed...
ME: Does he have a job?
S: Not exactly, but he's designed a chandelier.
ME: Ooh, that sounds good.
S: Yes, it's made of leather and giant penises.
S: Modelled on his own, apparently.
S: You know, for S&M clubs and so on.
S: He's not actually *into* S&M.
ME: Well, he sounds great.
10) Decided the penis chandelier would go really well with that vagina sofa I saw on Craigslist.
11) Had tea.