Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Now Available In Falmouth, Too

Ooh, look, I am the number one Google search result for 'some twat down in London'. Does this mean I can claim a Guardian column as my birthright?


Tim Footman said...

But seriously, do you mean "some sweat down in London"? No, really, do you?

James said...

Although only currently 4th place for some twat in Cornwall. I imagine Joshua "Brillian Brit" Shock, is quacking in his boots though.

nuttycow said...

Number one for "lovely mens bottoms" - what does that say about me?!

Hayley the Wench said...

I'm number one for "Fish & Testicle Egg". That can't be a good thing.

Rosie said...

congratulations, i assume?

i'm #1 (of a frightening 655,000) for "drank too much out of it".

worrying as (a) it doesn't make sense and (b)i may end up as a poster child for the DrinkAware campeign.

GreatSheElephant said...

This calls for congratulations

Fat Roland said...

You can find me with 'trouser therapist'.

And I'm fourth with 'two little boys had two little toys'.

I need to reassess my life.

If you put in 'Tim Footman stole my knees', you get, er, Tim Footman.

patroclus said...

Tim: That's a very difficult question. Almost as difficult as that question in my 20th century French literature final.

James: Is Joshua Shock, 19, Cornwall's answer to Max Gogarty? Perhaps they ought to be combined into one fictional character called Max Shock, and given their own series on Bebo.

Nuttycow: Hello! I don't believe I've seen you round these parts before. I expect it implies that you have exquisite taste in men's bottoms, and who can say fairer than that?

Hayley: It never fails to amaze me what people search for.

Rosie: Perhaps it's in reference to the horn of plenty? Although now I think about it, I'm not sure if that makes it any better.

GSE: Thank you. I am looking forward to my telegram from Alan Rusbridger.

FR: You and Billy (#1 for 'Toilet Scientist') should team up to fight toilet and trouser-related crime. Also, I can't believe I just searched for 'Tim Footman stole my knees'.

Tim Footman said...

Can I just put it on record that I didn't steal Fat Roland's knees, I just borrowed them from the library, then swapped them for a letter written by Alain Robbe-Grillet. Which, since his recent demise (I believe he was run down by a hybrid milk float/laundry van while massaging the neck of someone else's wife) is now worth quite a bit.

Incidentally, if you put "Alain Robbe-Grillet" into Babelfish, you get "Alan Rusbridger".*

*This isn't quite true.