Friday, August 19, 2005

The Contents Of My Navel Handbag

I swore I'd never do this again, but you know, it's cathartic. Or something. Or it says something about modern society. Or something. Yes, that's it - it's an important historical document. It's...The Complete And Unabridged Contents Of My Handbag (2005 Mix)!

1. Notification of undelivered parcel (wireless gateway)
2. Leaflet about the torture of Falun Gong members, in Finnish
3. Flyer for Juno Reactor gig at Nosturi on October 7th
4. Eleven of my own business cards
5. Finnair boarding pass Helsinki to LHR
6. Bach Rescue Remedy spray
7. iPod Shuffle (currently playing: "The Actress" by the Delgados)
8. Black whiteboard marker pen
9. Four sets of keys (office, new flat, old house, house in Scotland)
10. MoominShop receipt (EUR38.50)
11. Phone jack for modem
12. Two AA batteries, possibly dead
13. Screwed-up nicotine patch
14. Cheque for £70 that I have never paid into my account
15. Driving licence bearing an address that's eight years out of date
16. Notification of another undelivered parcel (Nick Cave tickets)
17. Train ticket Reading to London
18. Tube ticket Ealing Broadway to Zone 3
19. Route 266 bus ticket (valid to Hammersmith Grove)
20. Mobile phone
21. Two credit cards (Egg and First Direct)
22. Route 237 bus ticket (valid to Shepherd's Bush Green)
23. Café Rouge (Chiswick High Road branch) receipt (£27.90)
24. Four Nurofen tablets
25. Two pens and a pencil
26. Passport
27. Sixteen Marlboro Lights
28. Thirty-six pence

Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been of so little interest to so few.


cello said...

That list gives an excellent insight into your life and psyche.

You are someone who suffers tension headaches as a result of the idiotic behaviour of others, but you hedge your bets on the cure; Nurofen is the result of state-of-the-art scientific research, which fits the cyber-babe in you. Whereas the Bach Rescue Remedy is altogether more gentle,holistic and optimistic which fits your wild, hippy flower-child side.

The total value of your writing implements exceeds your ready cash by some margin. But your lack of cash also betrays a very aristocratic disdain for such mundane concerns as money. This, coupled with your property portfolio, marks you out as a posh bird.

The First Direct and Egg cards prove you are highly susceptible to brands but pretend not to be. And music is central to your life. Am I close?

james henry said...

Dude - Moominshop. That's next years holiday sorted out...

patroclus said...

Woah cello. That's *uncanny*. Although to be honest, I can't believe you (or indeed anyone) actually read that list. But how was the holiday? How's Edinburgh? Should I even be littering the internet with clues to your whereabouts?

And James, you would love the MoominShop. But note that all its merchandise is available and much cheaper in the Stockmann department store at the top of Pohjoisesplanadi (ooh, get me!).

Fizzy good said...

What the hell is the Moominshop? Does it sell Moomin merchandise? You know, those things that look like hippos?

Ah Christ. Listen to me, I sound like a brain-dead media student. Don't do it, kids.

cello said...

Ah, Edinburgh is this coming Thursday, followed by three days on the Isle of Eriska. Last week was North Norfolk, which I can totally recommend, seeing as how you are so partial to berating pretentious sandwiches/smoothies at astronomical prices. No MoominShop, but sea equally cold and cheaper than a flight to Helsinki. Also fab weather* and perfect kite-flying beaches.

And of course I read your list. It would have been very rude not to.

* not guaranteed

patroclus said...

Hey Fizzy, happy birthday again for last Thur! MoominShop is the official stockist of all manner of Moomin merchandise, including stuffed toys, chewing gum, stationery items and some rather fetching mugs of which I am now the proud owner of two.

LC said...

Disappointed - I always imagined you had a Deringer pistol stashed away in there.

patroclus said...

I'm just wondering what it says about our office environment if everyone is secretly convinced that everyone else has got a gun hidden about their person.

But then I suppose we *do* work in the urban ghetto that is London W4.

Fizzy good said...

Thanks F, I had an interesting time. Good luck with the Moomin merchandise there.

hen said...

Ahh bag reading - the taro card/tea leafs of the 21st century.

patroclus said...

A tea leaf made off with £20 of mine in the Co-op earlier, but it wasn't in my bag at the time.

hen said...

Yeah but *what* does it mean? Something surely.

nibus said...

£20? Have you looked down the side of the sofa nearest the telly?

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