Saturday, September 22, 2007

My Interesting Life

It was brought to my attention by Annie Rhiannon that I had not blogged for some time.

Here then is a quick roundup of things that happened during my blogworld absence:

1. Visitors from Cornwall came, intent on spotting celebrities in That London. Within 48 hours they had racked up Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, Noel Gallagher, Dustin Hoffman and Jodie Kidd, most of them in the organic wholefood supermarket in Kensington. Not to be outdone, Mr BC and I went to Sainsbury's and saw Rula Lenska. Chiswick is a hotbed of A-list stardom and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

2. I had an email from an informant, informing me that the informant had seen Peter Serafinowicz's brother in the High Road Brasserie, and that he looked just like Peter Serafinowicz (the brother, not the informant).

3. I retrieved a cat from SE27.

4. LC and I sold something we'd made* to a very big company, which made us happy. Capitalism rocks.

5. I watched Mr BC play Bioshock. At no point did he exclaim 'that's what you get for messing with the J-man!', but it can only be a matter of time.

6. The television broke. No one was unduly bothered.

7. I attended an event about how no one in the television industry knows what's going on any more. A man from Channel 4 said the channel had run out of money** and had asked the government for help. A scuffle broke out in the audience. It was a bit like the last days of the Roman Empire, but with free canapés.

8. I offered to be interviewed for an online magazine on the subject of fear of public speaking. The thought of talking to the journalist is making me anxious.

* When I say 'we' made it, what I mean is LC made it, while I hovered behind his shoulder making helpful suggestions like 'I think the logo should be bigger'. I am very much the Pointy-Haired Boss to LC's Dilbert.

** My commitment to factual accuracy and editorial integrity compels me to add that this may be a slight exaggeration. Although it might go some way towards explaining this (the bit about the sitcom, not the bit about the mobile phone).

UPDATE: In accordance with my new editorial policy of 'telling lies then correcting them in the footnotes', I should acknowledge that my informant points out that Peter Serafinowicz's brother didn't look 'like Peter Serafinowicz' so much as like 'what you would expect Peter Serafinowicz's brother to look like'.


Tim Footman said...

"My commitment to factual accuracy and editorial integrity compels me to add that this may be a slight exaggeration."

Now, if the BBC used this paradoxical disclaimer - essentially "I'm lying, but that's OK because I'm telling you I'm lying" - then they wouldn't be in such a mess:

"Well, the winner is Socks, except it isn't, but you wouldn't want a cat called 'Minge', would you?"

It's so tiresomely postmodern, I'm getting a moderate nosebleed.*

*To be honest, though, I'm not really getting a nosebleed. That was a fib.

informant said...

I have to clarify: he did not look just like Peter Serafinowitz, but he did look *exactly* like Peter Serafinowitz's brother, or the expectation thereof. He also *sounded* just like Peter Serafinowitz and, one has to assume, the rest of the Serafinowitz family.

Hope that clears things up.

LC said...

*Is wondering whether Dilbert is much of an improvement over Janine from Ghostbusters*

patroclus said...

Tim: You know, I'd be quite happy with that kind of disclosure policy. Also, we once had a cat called Knocker.

Informant: This whole Serafinowicz thing has now become so meta that I'm not even sure that it's me typing this.

LC: I was going to say that you should be thankful I haven't applied any Star Wars analogies yet, but then I remembered that the last time I tried to deploy a Star Wars analogy at work I ended up as an Ewok.

Annie Rhiannon said...

'I think the logo should be bigger'


GreatSheElephant said...

Who is Peter Serafinowitz?

And was it really called Minge? I thought it was 'Pussy' that won. Very nice cat by the way.

patroclus said...

Annie R: Or smaller, I can't remember. It was something terribly important, in any case.

GSE: Peter Serafinowicz played Duane Benzie, the evil, girlfriend-stealing City boy in Spaced. He was also in Look Around You, which controversially I didn't like at all. He has his own TV show now, I think.

BiB said...

An American pal of my brother's worked as a doorman at some theatre or other in London and was under strict instructions to only let important folk in. A woman flounced up and he refused her entry. "Do you know who I am?" she bellowed. "Erm, no," he answered. "I am Rula Lenska," said Rula Lenska. He remained, not surprisingly, none the wiser.