'Was it male or female?', was my immediate - and possibly not entirely relevant - response.
D. didn't know, as it was 'only small', so we looked it up in Wikipedia, where we discovered the following rigorous scientific data:
The name earwig comes from Old English eare "ear" and wicga "insect". It is fancifully related to the notion that earwigs burrow into the brains of humans through the ear and therein lay their eggs. This belief, however, is false. Nevertheless, being exploratory and omnivorous, earwigs probably do crawl into the human ear; even if they are only looking for a humid crevice in which to hide, such behavior provides a memorable basis for the name.
So there you have it: earwigs 'probably' do get in your ear, but not to lay eggs or anything.
That's all right then.
NEXT WEEK: Cottage pie 'probably made of cottages'.