Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Meeja Bore

It's come to my attention that I have 'gone a bit meeja' lately.

I think the tipping point came when my handsome comedy scriptwriter boyfriend handed me a scrap of paper on which a very nice lady actress had kindly written for me the title of a self-help book for panic sufferers.

While turning this piece of paper over in my hands, I noticed that it was a bar receipt from the Groucho Club.

Something needs to be done about this, before my lack of ability to keep it real surpasses even J. Lo's.

I know - I'll go to Finsbury Park to have supper with my good friend S. and her husband, who are both directors of a top London PR agency.

And if that doesn't work, tomorrow night I will issue forth to swanky West End eaterie Asia de Cuba, to imbibe elaborate cocktails and partake of some 'modern eclectic' fish dishes.

That should sort it.

OH DEAR LORD, WHAT HAVE I BECOME???

24 comments:

GreatSheElephant said...

I'd like this lifestyle please - feel free to send it over here.

Sylvia said...

P a bore? NEVER - keep these stories coming - those of us on the dull side of life need to know that there is a better world out there which doesn't involve running a sock dating agency or combatting primary school fatigue.

patroclus said...

I don't know - I seem to have become a character in a bad chick-lit novel. And the description of Asia de Cuba as somewhere frequented by 'the beautiful people' makes me want to scream and run away as fast as my decrepit Spanish hiking boots will carry me. Hopefully in the general direction of Pizza Express.

GreatSheElephant said...

Actually Asia de Cuba is quite ghastly - you are right.

Can I make you a character in my bad chick lit novel?

cello said...

You think that's bad. Just wait 'til the 7th!

Kirses said...

Finsbury Park ought to bring you down to earth with a bump..

james henry said...

How beautiful can it be if I'm not there, hmmm?

Sylvia said...

Ooh - tell all- what's happening on the 7th? I'm off to yoga that evening - there, told you my life was so exciting. But I'm going to see Sandi Toksvig and Bonnie Langford at the Bloomsbury Theatre on 8th. I'm looking forward to that.
Hope you have fun, whatever it is.

Tim Footman said...

"I seem to have become a character in a bad chick-lit novel"

You're not turning into a meeja bore, sweetie. You're just turning into Douglas Coupland. Could be far, far worse.

"Sandi Toksvig and Bonnie Langford at the Bloomsbury Theatre"

There's a sex show that boggles the mind, and I live in Bangkok.

Marsha Klein said...

If anyone can keep it real, it's you. You have the most sensitvely tuned bullshit detectors I've ever come across!

chuffy! said...

Asia de Cuba *is* a character in a bad chick-lit novel.

Sylvia said...

I agree with Marsha! Fret not, P - just enjoy your life.

Sandi and Bonnie's show is called Short and Curly. It involves lots of yodelling.

patroclus said...

Hee hee - Asia de Cuba probably has a torrid affair with coked-up bad-boy film director Groucho Club, before eventually settling down with the nice, reliable Finsbury Park, who lives in the flat downstairs and runs an antiquarian bookshop in Camden Passage. Probably.

Kirses said...

reminds me of that advert for paint colours

patroclus said...

That's exactly what I thought the second I'd posted it, Kirses, followed closely by thinking 'eurgh'.

Albert said...

I've always thought that Dalston Kingsland was a particularly unsavoury (but bodice-rippingly sexy) character from a Jane Austen novel, rather than a rather scabby train station in East London.

Arabella said...

Have a kebab on the way home. That'll sort you out.

chuffy! said...

Self-googling one time, I discovered that I'm also the hero of pretty racy bonkbuster (and by hero, I mean I would take the Finsbury Park part, if Finsbury Park was a dashing Second Earl/Highwayman).

But the North London Line does seem like fine fodder for some particularly pornographic Victoriana, what with Dalston Kingsland's great rivals Leyton Stone and Hackney Wick, not to mention Kensal Rise (with his arriviste ways and floating walnut shelves)

BiScUiTs said...

Hehe it sounds good! Enjoy.

I've heard that the large, split-level dining room, decorated in neutral creams & whites, wins praise as somewhere that has ‘electricity in the air’ – & not just on account of the low-strung light bulbs & pumped-up music.

Well alright I might have just copied and pasted that description from the page you linked to...

BiB said...

I've met people who claim to have met people called Stamford Hill, Tufnell Park and Alexander Palace. Tufnell Park's got to be bollocks, surely?

Kieran said...

So wrong.
You need to repent and move to Lewisham. It's the only way to save your soul.

cello said...

Asia be Cuba is not for the beautiful people at all. I've been there several times.

It's for the people who'd like to ogle at people who think they are the beautiful people but who are merely orange.

patroclus said...

Cello: Yes. Also, their low-slung lightbulbs (as eloquently referenced by Biscuits) are annoying.

In future I think I will stay at home. I can always glance at my Philippe Starck saucepan trivet if I'm ever overcome by a sudden lack of glamour.

Angus Deayton was there. At least I think it was him, I didn't have my glasses on. It could have been a carpenter from Birkenhead.

Urban Chick said...

have you come over all 'meeja'? i hadn't noticed but maybe this says more about me

personally i like the trend for calling restaurants in that ronseal does-what-it-says-on-the-tin sort of a way

the very last london restaurant i went to before i moved north was that one in borough that is fervently pro animal protein

it was called sth like 'meat' or 'innards' or sth

am i right?