Friday, May 25, 2007

Chiswick Residents Struggle To Cope With Celebrity Restaurant Outbreak

INT. LADIES TOILET, CHISWICK HIGH ROAD BRASSERIE - NIGHT

A mobile phone rings. GIRL in toilet cubicle answers.

GIRL: What? I'm having a wee!

GIRL: I'm at Ant and Dec's! Having a wee! Where are you?

GIRL: I didn't say Frankie's! I said Ant and Dec's!

Girl exits cubicle.

GIRL (to friend): Tch - I told her to meet us at Ant and Dec's, but she's standing outside Frankie Dettori's!

FRIEND: Oh. So what do you want to do, then?

GIRL: Shall we just go back to All Bar One?

13 comments:

Dave said...

A mobile telephone you say? Whatever will you sophisticated city types come up with next?

Loganoc said...

Ant and Dec are the Devils children. That's why they have never aged beyond about 13 and keep winning prizes destined for Green Wing.

Sylvia said...

All Bar One? Don't you mean the Al Barone? A friend of mine genuinely thought that was what these establishments were called. But she was v heavily pregnant at the time, you honour.

Which one is Ant and which one is Dec? I can't work it out, they both look as if they're about 12.

bloggingjames said...

How bizarre, such strange goings on would never occur in the male lavatories. Ok maybe they would

Billy said...

Apparently Ant & Dec do reside in Chiswick according to an inane newspaper article I read (I don't think it's the same house they live in)

GreatSheElephant said...

Do men ever take mobile calls mid wee? If yes, the logistics of this puzzle me. Or am I the only person who needs two hands to operate a phone?

patroclus said...

Ah yes, I should perhaps clarify that Ant & Dec part-own the High Road Brasserie, hence the fact that it seems to be becoming known in local parlance as 'Ant and Dec's'.

Mind you, they probably do have a suite on the fifth floor.

GSE: Yes, and make them. I have been on the receiving end of such a call. It disturbed me.

Geoff said...

You wouldn't get Morecambe & Wise owning a brasserie.

Fat Roland said...

Oh, BRASSERIE? I had an image of Ant and Dec in lingerie for a second there.

Tim Footman said...

Ant's the one with shiny black hair that makes him look like an ant.

That's how I remember it.

But I can't remember which one was PJ and which one was Duncan.

patroclus said...

Ooh, and Dec has mousy blond hair, which makes him look like some decking.

Easy.

I don't know which one was PJ and which one was Duncan, either.

realdoc said...

Ant was PJ and the other one was Duncan. I'm nearly sure although it may be the other way around.

Marsha Klein said...

Ant was PJ and Dec was Duncan.

"PJ and Duncan AKA"
AKA what, ya divvies?

Favourite (actually, only) piece of Ant and Dec trivia:

Quote form "Love Actually":

DEC: I believe you've brought a prize for our competition winners?

BILLY MACK (Bill Nighy) Indeed I have, Ant or Dec. It's a personalised felt-tip pen.