Friday, October 07, 2005

Blogging: Danger

One of the things I had on my list of Things To Do Before I'm 35 was to be quoted wildly out of context in an obscure glossy women's magazine. (Well, it wasn't, but I'm resorting to retro-fitting in a desperate attempt to kid myself that my life to date hasn't been a completely pointless, achievement-free waste of time).

So naturally I was delighted to find myself quoted not ONCE but TWICE in this month's Essentials magazine (apparently targeted at suburban 20-somethings who are experiencing their first relationship, first home, first marriage and first baby - blimey, all at once, the poor creatures?) on the subject of blogging.

Oh yes, I'm quite the guru now, me.

Apparently I not only think that blogging is a symptom of an increasing voyeurism in society, but also that it is fundamentally sad, addictive and potentially dangerous to our physical and mental well-being.

"It's not healthy to spend all your time sat at a computer," I warn the poor suburban 20-somethings, sternly. Of course, what I *meant* to say there is that it's not healthy to spend all your time sat at a computer UNLESS you are simultaneously chain-smoking your way through a pack of 20 Marlboro Lights and listening to comedy early 80s agit-punk songs at an inappropriately loud volume. Sorry for any confusion.

Not only did I never actually say anything about blogging being bad for your health, but I also notice they carefully left out all the things I said about blogging encouraging people to write and think for themselves, find new friends and challenge the facts and views portrayed in the established media (see what I did there?).

But I was very happy to be reunited on the printed page with my old sparring partner Dr Mark Griffiths of Nottingham Trent University, who apparently "hopes his diaries will be published and read after his death." Which, if we come to blows again, may be sooner than he thinks.

8 comments:

Wyndham said...

Oooh, you have a media feud! You've made it!

Pashmina said...

ooh get you! Of course you realise I am now going to hunt down this obsure women's magazine of which you speak and read it ostentatiously on the bus?

cello said...

I just googled 'quinquireme blogspot' and found something that called you the Queen of Blogging. Essentials are a bit late to the party but at least they have now acknowledged your authority in this area. And all for your birthday too.

Smat said...

was just browsing Essentials in the newsagents - when did it go small and glossy and not be the sort of magazine my mum would read?
Congratulations though! Don't mean to be picky (actually I do, it's what I'm best at), but shouldn't it have been "to sit at a computer" and not "be sat at"?

patroclus said...

It should indeed, Smat. And that's how you can tell I never actually said it!

ScroobiousScrivener said...

Oh yes, I too have experienced the wonders of women's glossies and their incredible lack of respect for one's actual words or, indeed, meaning.

I was once interviewed with my wonderful friend Chris for an article on, "Can men and women just be friends?" Right, so, ridiculous question, but I had thoughts on it. Not that I was actually asked. Still, we spent about half an hour sharing joyously of our history and thinking. The printed version of our "quotes" was about 10 lines long and started with the following elegant gem:

Interviewer: Have you ever been tempted to hook up?
Me: No, he's gay.

Wha?

patroclus said...

Gosh, hello Scroobious and welcome! Yes, I came to the conclusion a while ago that the entire print (and broadcast, and online) media is nothing but a tissue of lies. Probably something to do with pesky PR types telling dodgy stories to journalists who aren't listening properly. I could go on, but it's late and I've just walked about 10 miles and I need to lie down.

Is your friend Chris gay, though?

ScroobiousScrivener said...

He is, yes, and the writer knew this. I think she just had to put that in there to inform her readers. But how clumsy and boring!

Also, in an Amusing Twist (possibly not for everyone), they got the pictures mixed up. So someone Not Chris was mistakenly outed.

(Been here before, by the way. Commented on that sexist technophobe thing. Was amused and have been hanging around since. *waves*)