Thursday, October 13, 2005

Armagedón Outta Here

Having awoken for no reason whatsoever at 5.07am, I eventually went back to sleep only to be plagued by torrid dreams of The End Of The World. In case this was some kind of actual premonition, I should warn you that the end of the world will manifest itself primarily by the sudden absence of gravity*.

My dream-world reaction to this highly unlikely phenomenon was to attempt to hook up - yes, in *that* way - with Keith from my Spanish course, who has an excellent Spanish accent but is no real looker** (apologies Keith, if you're reading).

Indeed, if I absolutely *had* to spend Armageddon in the company of someone from my Spanish course, I'd much prefer it to be tall, skinny, motorbike-riding, 36 year-old construction company boss Christian (that's his name, I don't know his religious persuasion, we haven't come on to that yet), who turns up to evening class fetchingly decked out in his leathers. Although as Christian's moto is apparently pequeño***, on balance I'd probably rather prepare to meet my maker by sitting around at home with a nice cup of Earl Grey.


* The truly paranoid can check out exactly how close we are to the real End Of The World by consulting this handy Rapture Index (thanks to sugar_sanity for that).

** Before you get all like oo, get *her*, I should add that dream-Keith spurned my advances by running away and locking himself in his room.

*** In the interests of accuracy, actually pequeña.

11 comments:

surly girl said...

i have endless, complicated, long-winded and logistically challenging dreams which render me more exhausted on waking than when i went to sleep.

pass the laudanum.

patroclus said...

Ah, laudanum - the perfect accompaniment to a rainy Thursday afternoon. Cheers!

cello said...

Ah, the zero-gravity sensation. That's quite a nice one. I don't often get that as a total floaty feeling but I do regularly get a sensation where I can effectvely 'tread air' and hover about a foot above the ground as long as I keep treading.

Do you also get falling or tripping sensations in your dreams? I believe they are quite common. I will keep the others to myself.

The Humanity Critic said...

What other way is there to spend the end of existence?? lol

Konrad said...

I awake at this times when my baby cries. When I fall asleep again between 4 or 6 a.m. you have the most astonishing dreams. It sometimes feels, like you can control this dreams. Scary, huh?

Merkin said...

I ALSO know a motorbike-riding, construction company boss called Christian. He's considerably older than 36 though... are you guessing his age, or are you assuming that no one between mid-30s and mid-50s rides a motorbike (cf. youthful exuberance vs midlife crisis)?

patroclus said...

Uh-oh.

No, we did our names and ages in the first lesson. Unless he was lying, of course...

Merkin said...

No, he's far too nice to lie. Must be a surfeit of them (just like lampreys).

patroclus said...

Yes, or like peaches.

Urban Chick said...

would that my spanish class contained such interesting fellows

mine contains:
* mouth-has-never-broken-into-a-smile--thirt-years-on-the-planet guy
* enthusiastic mike who works in the musak industry
* hypertensive mike whose (second/third?) wife is spanish
* guy-with-baseball-cap-surgically-attached-to-his-head
* guy-who-shuns-ordinary-notepad-in-favour-of-laptop (c'mon! this is a community college - get over yourself)

dammit, i coulda used this on *my* blog, come to think of it

p.s. apologies for the over-use of hyphens

patroclus said...

Not at all, UC. And you should definitely use your comment on your blog too - it's all about syndication, right?

I quite like the sound of your class, actually. Perhaps we could swap at half-term?