Thursday, October 13, 2005

Armagedón Outta Here

Having awoken for no reason whatsoever at 5.07am, I eventually went back to sleep only to be plagued by torrid dreams of The End Of The World. In case this was some kind of actual premonition, I should warn you that the end of the world will manifest itself primarily by the sudden absence of gravity*.

My dream-world reaction to this highly unlikely phenomenon was to attempt to hook up - yes, in *that* way - with Keith from my Spanish course, who has an excellent Spanish accent but is no real looker** (apologies Keith, if you're reading).

Indeed, if I absolutely *had* to spend Armageddon in the company of someone from my Spanish course, I'd much prefer it to be tall, skinny, motorbike-riding, 36 year-old construction company boss Christian (that's his name, I don't know his religious persuasion, we haven't come on to that yet), who turns up to evening class fetchingly decked out in his leathers. Although as Christian's moto is apparently pequeño***, on balance I'd probably rather prepare to meet my maker by sitting around at home with a nice cup of Earl Grey.

* The truly paranoid can check out exactly how close we are to the real End Of The World by consulting this handy Rapture Index (thanks to sugar_sanity for that).

** Before you get all like oo, get *her*, I should add that dream-Keith spurned my advances by running away and locking himself in his room.

*** In the interests of accuracy, actually pequeña.


surly girl said...

i have endless, complicated, long-winded and logistically challenging dreams which render me more exhausted on waking than when i went to sleep.

pass the laudanum.

patroclus said...

Ah, laudanum - the perfect accompaniment to a rainy Thursday afternoon. Cheers!

cello said...

Ah, the zero-gravity sensation. That's quite a nice one. I don't often get that as a total floaty feeling but I do regularly get a sensation where I can effectvely 'tread air' and hover about a foot above the ground as long as I keep treading.

Do you also get falling or tripping sensations in your dreams? I believe they are quite common. I will keep the others to myself.

The Humanity Critic said...

What other way is there to spend the end of existence?? lol

Konrad said...

I awake at this times when my baby cries. When I fall asleep again between 4 or 6 a.m. you have the most astonishing dreams. It sometimes feels, like you can control this dreams. Scary, huh?

Merkin said...

I ALSO know a motorbike-riding, construction company boss called Christian. He's considerably older than 36 though... are you guessing his age, or are you assuming that no one between mid-30s and mid-50s rides a motorbike (cf. youthful exuberance vs midlife crisis)?

patroclus said...


No, we did our names and ages in the first lesson. Unless he was lying, of course...

Merkin said...

No, he's far too nice to lie. Must be a surfeit of them (just like lampreys).

patroclus said...

Yes, or like peaches.

Urban Chick said...

would that my spanish class contained such interesting fellows

mine contains:
* mouth-has-never-broken-into-a-smile--thirt-years-on-the-planet guy
* enthusiastic mike who works in the musak industry
* hypertensive mike whose (second/third?) wife is spanish
* guy-with-baseball-cap-surgically-attached-to-his-head
* guy-who-shuns-ordinary-notepad-in-favour-of-laptop (c'mon! this is a community college - get over yourself)

dammit, i coulda used this on *my* blog, come to think of it

p.s. apologies for the over-use of hyphens

patroclus said...

Not at all, UC. And you should definitely use your comment on your blog too - it's all about syndication, right?

I quite like the sound of your class, actually. Perhaps we could swap at half-term?