Sunday, June 19, 2005

Lactobacillus Acidophilus

Sorry about this, but I seem to have rather a lot to say for myself today. While trawling the interthing for "critical quotes" for the below post, I found someone referring to Andrew Lawrence (no idea what he's going to be like, by the way) as "like Art Garfunkel on acid".

Now this expression has to be up there in my Top Five Most Hated Media Clichés (oo oo, I feel another list coming on!). Anyone, anyone at all, who describes anything at all as being like anyone or anything at all "on acid" has a) clearly never actually taken LSD, b) probably not even read or seen Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas and c) even less imagination than I have (although that last one could be pushing it).

I almost forgot the point of this post there, but here we go, without further ado I am ushering in my first Regular Feature! It may be - and indeed is - completely ripped off the Neophiliacs bit in Private Eye, but I reckon it could be a winner! All you have to do is alert me to the most pitiful example you can find of a "like x on acid" simile from a recent Weekend Supplement and you could win a super prize!

And I'm pretentiously calling it "Lactobacillus Acidophilus", which, as any fule kno, means "milky parasite that likes acid" - a superb description of all broadsheet supplement columnists* everywhere.

Let Battle Commence!

* Just in case I'm offending any of my lovely friends here, I'd like to clarify that I mean career columnists. And of those, mainly Kate Muir.


cello said...

Will keep my eyes peeled*. But I am now rather scared of you.

There is a *very* interesting article in Saturday's Guardian mag about internet behaviour, by the way. Please make sure you have read and mastered it before Thursday lunchtime when it will be one of our topics for discussion.

*Concious cliche. And my PC won't let me do accents without exiting me all the time.

cello said...

Pls correct spelling too.

patroclus said...

Hmm cello, you're the second person this evening that's made me read that article! Well, I'll look forward to our Thursday lunchtime discussion.

I'm a bit worried about your being scared of me, though. Am I scary? That worries me a lot.

BiScUiTs said...

Internet behaviour? What's that one all about then? Oh wait, internet behaviour I suppose. Probably including a pull-out supplement on internet people who ask obvious questions and then answer the question themselves, often followed by a bizarre comment which deconstructs the behaviour displayed in above sentence.

Anyway, I completely know what you mean about the media clichés thing. It's like one person says a phrase, and about 50 other people continue saying it for the rest of eternity, whilst completely failing to realise that it's really been said far too much. I would write down more hilarious examples, but I can't think of any. Oh well.

patroclus said...

Incidentally I see the Guardian still hasn't cottoned on to the existence of IM. Maybe they're saving it up to be next year's moral panic.

patroclus said...

PS Biscuits, if you think of any more examples of terrible, over-used media clichés, let me know. I'm trying to compile a Top Five list, but at the moment I can't think of more than two!

cello said...

patroclus,would you mind giving biscuits my work email please, so that she can give me her address. Another real life revelation is about to happen. I have a little piece in the Guardian today by the way.

And, yes, you are scary. I will elaborate on Thursday.

patroclus said...

ok, now i'm *really* worried. But I have given Biscuits your address, and I'm very intrigued about the new revelation. Will check out the Guardian forthwith!

james henry said...

Good article by cello I thought. Although I think 'x on crack' is the new 'x on acid' myself.

patroclus said...

Ah yes, I see what you did there, James. Top marks.

BiScUiTs said...

Oh yes you're right James, I've heard that one used a lot recently too!
I know what I should do Patroclus, I should watch those top 10 things programmes, they're always using clichés on those. I'm going to have to see if I can find some now.
Ooh well done on your piece in the Guardian there Cello!

cello said...

Thank you all. Though I am cheesed off at the title they gave it. Blows the whole thing and is not even a pun.

Just been thinking about really annoying cliches, patroclus. This one is not just a cliche but also wrong.

"They reached a crescendo". Crescendo means increasing or growing. So you can crescendo to a climax or to a fortissimo,if speaking musically, but you can't increase to an increasing.

And irony of all ironies, the Radio Times uses it wrongly in the blurb to the last instalment of the Beethoven drama. Harumph.

Fizzy good said...

You know what irritates me (apart from misuse of the word "paradoxically" obviously)? "Nonplussed". It means confounded, not disinterested. Tsch.

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