Fat Roland's blog: happy 20th birthday
2 days ago
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Picaresque
Right, now I am going to get on a train to an unnamed destination Southampton, in search of Adventure and Excitement. Updates to follow, if I make it back...
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23 comments:
I think you should make it clear that your destination does have a name, but you are not specifying it for some reason known best to yourself. Perhaps you are afraid that all of your blog fans will turn up there and embarrass you.
If the destination did not have a name, then I suspect that you would have had difficulty purchasing the train ticket.
I hope this helps.
Oh alright, I'm going to Southampton.
You were right first time then. I apologise.
I'm just making a cup of tea - you won't want one.
Any reason why you are gracing Southampton with your presence?
(Yes, the technique of mysteriousness does work to create intrigue)
I've been to Southampton a few times. Haven't been recently though.
(I'm loving this cryptic thing)
Be patient, my loyal and tolerant readers. Soon the shocking, unexpurgated story of Why I Went To Southampton will be told...
...unlike the last time I went to Southampton, when I had to expurgate the story quite a lot.
I love it when you do your unplanned serendipitous trips. Some of us have to content ourselves with taking pot luck from the Cadbury's Heroes Box.
I suppose I'd better say something
then
"All the nice girls love a sailor
All the...."
Or am I getting mixed up with Plymouth? Or Portsmouth?
Coming from Pompey, I have to sigh and explain that while Portsmouth and Plymouth are naval ports, Southampton is a commercial port and, as such, if Patroclus is going to meet a nice sailor, he will probably turn out to be a Filipino cleaner who's done a flit from the QM2.
Craig David comes from Southampton. Maybe she's going to attend to his facial hair.
Not this time, Tim. Like the good Lord, Craig David chills on Sunday.
Tell me you didn't go to Southampton on a Sunday purely to make that Craig David joke...
Although, if you did, respec' is due.
I think it's about time he updated that song. Met a girl on Monday, asked her for a drink on Tuesday, she said 'who are you? didn't you used to be on Bo' Selecta' on Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday I cried myself to sleep and got dropped by the label on Saturday.
Or something.
Who is this Craig David? Should I know of him?
Dave, I envy you your Craig David free world.
Anyhow, what going on in Southampton?
I can't believe it's taken me so long to recognise the similarities between Craig David and the Creator. For not only did the boy David create something (in this case, an exaggerated portrait of his own precocious sexual allure) in seven days, on the final day of which he 'chilled', but as I dimly recall, he is also apparently 'all over' (in this case, 'your body'. Ewww.).
OK, I've researched him via Google. Apparently he's a popular young musician. This explains why I've never heard of him.
Let's face it, I can't name many people in the the musical alphabet, after Abba.
Oh, except for Track a Tiger, obviously (thanks Pat).
Oh, and whilst I was on Google, I checked out what's happening in Southampton this week. The only thing on there appears to be at the Mayflower Theatre: 'Spirit of the Dance - With Ireland's Three tenors'. So that clears that up.
But I see I've just missed, also at the Mayflower Theatre, 'Sing-A-Long-A-Abba - The ultimate kareoke event'.
Dash.
Nice detective work Dave, but I'm not in Southampton any more; it was but a fleeting visit. These commercial sailors don't get much 'shore leave'.
Did you go to see Linda Barker? That's pretty shocking.
Ah, yes. I forgot to ask how Southampton was (the great thing about the whole blog thing - you don't need to actually speak to people to find out what they've been up to, though then again there is no post-Southampton comment - please tell us you didn't go and see Linda Barker).
Ah yes, that er, *interesting* post about your last visit to Southampton (in the hour and half it existed before it was heavily edited).
Patroclus 'too busy to blog' shocker!
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