Saturday, November 29, 2008

Malcolm's Baubles

The lovely Annie Rhiannon commented on Mr BC's blog that life at Casa Blue Cat must be 'a laugh a minute', with the pair of us being so side-splittingly hilarious and everything.


Of course she's not wrong - what with Mr BC being a comedy professional and me being, er, a professional, the standard of conversational wit at our house is always extremely high, as this exchange from last night should demonstrate:

ME (looking at laptop): Oh look, there's a glass-blowing evening at Malcolm Sutcliffe's art gallery next weekend. There will be free mince pies, and you can blow your own baubles.

MR BC: Pfft. I can blow my own baubles at home whenever I like.

ME: No you can't. You've got too many ribs.

MR BC: Oh, now, there was no need to turn it into smut.

ME: Oh wait, apparently you can't blow your own baubles at all. Apparently Malcolm does all the blowing.

MR BC: What do we do?

ME: We watch.

MR BC: I'm not going all the way to West Street to watch Malcolm blow his own baubles.

ME: He wouldn't be blowing his own baubles. He'd be blowing your baubles. For a fiver each.

MR BC: I don't want Malcolm to blow my baubles.

ME: There are free mince pies.

MR BC: All right then.


Geoff said...

I'm forever blowing baubles?

I hope Malcolm doesn't run out of puff.

Boz said...

Can we vouchsafe the quality of mince pie on offer?

Tim Footman said...

Of course, Mr BC's baubles would have to be put in a furnace first, before Malcolm blew them. I think the pies would have to be jolly good to make that worthwhile. M&S at least.

And I know, word ver, ho-hum, la-di-da

but it's


Annie A said...

Hey, I realise it's not a competition and all, but I think I've finally deduced that yours is funnier.

james henry said...

I see what you've done there Annie.

Dave said...

The standard of conversation is definitely on a higher plane than that which one hears in my lonely life.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

Well, Dave, we do our best to keep your blog-life, at least, bubbling along merrily.

It might all be more worthwhile if Malcolm provided free baubles and charged for the mince pies. Puff pastry, of course.

patroclus said...

Good idea. In fact I propose that Malcolm forgoes both the baubles and the mince pies, and sells puff pastry instead. It's what the people want.

cello said...

Christopher, your solution must have great merit because it's the one that Spearmint Rhino has adopted. I am led to believe. You just don't get to take the 'baubles' home.

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...


BiScUiTs said...

Are you going to make paper chain decorations too? You know, those packets of funny strips of paper with weird glue like envelope glue on the ends that stick together. Actually I don't think I've seen them for years.

Valerie said...

Everyone needs priorities. Why, without them life would be unnavigable. It's a relief to know that Mr BC has such clear-cut ones. (Priorities, that is, not mince pies or baubles. Though I suppose if you're going to have mince pie it might as well be clear cut. Though not in the rainforest sense.)

I've never actually eaten a mince pie.

patroclus said...

CB: Never less than classy on this blog.

Biscuits: Hello! I was just thinking about making some paper chains the other day, it's about time they had a comeback.

Valerie: Never eaten a mince pie? This is a terrible state of affairs that needs to be rectified. Just make sure you get some decent mincemeat and not the horrid 'organic mince pie filling' I was reduced to using the other day. Bleurgh.

Also, while on the topic of mince pies, does anyone know what those little white bits are in the mincemeat? Are they suet?

Karen's Mouth said...

Suet yes. Maybe small bits of animal fat. But I think suet. Seems more likely. And tastier.

Valerie said...

The only kind of mincemeat I've seen here in San Diego is a jar of the no-meat variety. I don't think such pies are sold here, and it's probably hard to find the with-meat sort of filling. Which sort is better?

I might have to wait until my 2010 trip to the UK and Iceland to find out.

patroclus said...

Thank you Karen's Mouth. And Valerie, I have never made my own mincemeat, only ever used the no-meat variety that comes in a jar. But Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has a recipe that does have meat in it, see here - not for the faint-hearted, I wouldn't have thought.

Karen's Mouth said...

After lengthy discussion in the office we've decided suet IS animal fat. I have learnt a new fact which pleases me but I feel vaguely disgusted.

Marsha Klein said...

Suet (she said pompously) is the fat which surrounds beef kidneys. I think most commercial mincemeat contains vegetarian 'suet' - vegetable fat, which is pelleted somehow and rolled in rice flour or something.

BiScUiTs said...

Excellent! You're right, paper chains need to be revived.
I didn't know what suet was, I just always though it had a bit of a strange texture, I didn't realise it was in mince pies either, I'm going to have a look inside one next time and see if I can spot any haha.