Monday, November 24, 2008

I Never Was Very Good At Physics

EXT. INVERNESS AIRPORT - DAY

PATROCLUS, MR BC and the BLUE KITTEN are disembarking from Easyjet flight EZ393 from Bristol.

ME: Well, that went well. I'm glad Sylvia advised me to feed the Kitten on the ascent and descent, she didn't seem to get earache at all.

MR BC: No. And you coped with the breastfeeding in public thing very well.

ME: Only because I was sitting by the window, and you could hide me with the Guardian.

MR BC: Yes.

Shortly:

ME: Of course if we do the same on the way back, we'll have to sit on the other side of the aisle.

MR BC: Why's that?

ME: Because we'll be travelling the other way.

There is a moment's silence, during which I reflect on what I've just said, and the Nobel committee hastily revise the shortlist for this year's Prize for Stupidity.

Eventually:


MR BC: I think you'll find it doesn't actually matter what side of the plane we sit on.

ME: No.

19 comments:

GreatSheElephant said...

of course it matters - it completely affects the view you get - clouds or um clouds.

Don't forget to ask for back to the engine too.

patroclus said...

Very true, GSE - if we *had* sat on the other side on the way back we would have had an aerial view of Edinburgh. As it was we had to make do with Glasgow.

Vicus Scurra said...

It is so confusing, isn't it? Being not good at physics is a very positive attribute, in my view. I suggest you refuse to believe any of their ridiculous dogma. They don't have a clue how a plane manages to stay up in the air, which is as things should be.

wv - aplete = runner with a swollen lip.

oyebilly said...

Port Out Starboard Home.

Valerie said...

As a passionate railway buff, I like to think this is an effect caused by the coming redominance of rail travel. Our air travel metaphors are succumbing to the cognitive structures of rail!

Jayne said...

I'm glad the Berliner format's still big enough to hide behind. Lurking behind the Daily Telegraph might scar the poor kitten for life.

One Fine Weasel said...

Patroclus, I think I love you. Am so glad you're back!

Annie A said...

blonky gold

Tim Footman said...

You joey.

Lettuce Hater said...

all i know is that when i travel on the train line formerly known as GNER, i must sit on the left on the way down and on the right on the way up because all the best sights* are on the sea-side (um, the sea, angel of the north, durham cathedral/castle)

* until darlington, when i try to have a wee sleep...until london

Lettuce Hater said...

bugger

it's the other way round isn't it?

left going down, right coming up

dammit, why can't there be a helpful acronym for my journey like POSH

(besides, i note that you cannot select that option in the seat preference check box bit online...*considers penning email to train operator*)

Boz said...

Do they let you read newspapers on EasyJet? I'm sure I was strapped in last time.

Belladona said...

Awww. You can't be expected to produce new people and remember physics all at the same time.

realdoc said...

Wait until the kitten grows, you'll never get the window seat again.
Also breast feeding in public is the new brown tinsel so go to it.

rivergirlie said...

realdoc - brown tinsel? is this a euphemism (sp?) or a trend i've totally missed.
patroclus - it's easy to remember because, obviously, north is uphill (stick with me, babe - you'll never find your way home again)

Karen's Mouth said...

Glad you're blogging again, I only just got here.

patroclus said...

Of course the Vikings called the very northernmost tip of Britain 'Sutherland', because to them it was the balmy, tropical south.

Erm, I'm sure that was relevant to something.

Karen's Mouth: Welcome! We like to see proper scientists on this blog. Also toilet scientists. (And everyone else is welcome too.)

Sylvia said...

Oh my goodness - it worked! well done. And welcome to the art of stealth breastfeeding! Takes a bit of practice, but only those in the know realise what you're up to. That and the slurping noises....

entropy said...

I don't know if I dare ask, but... toilet scientists?