Monday, September 19, 2005

On Dit Que Ce Qui Compte C'est Le Décor

Things that made me happy today (because it's the shallow things that count):

1. I fixed the problem with the central heating all by myself

2. The resulting warmth and cosiness in my flat

3. The fairy lights I've strewn everywhere

4. The prospect that I may soon own this lampshade

5. Driving a Transit van recklessly round the back streets of Chiswick

6. My shapely new eyebrows. Threading is clearly where it's, er, at

7. Coffee and cigarettes

8. The arrival of autumn

Mmmm.

34 comments:

Urban Chick said...

on dit qu'il faut celebrer l'avenement de l'automne parce qu'on peut porter des vetements de demi-saison

ben, c'est vraiment merveilleux, ca...

[and oooh, nice lampshade!]

Merkin said...

Aaaaaaaah, what a good mood you;re clearly in! Give yourself a big hug. And then be a love and pop on round to John Lewis in your van for me, would you? I need to buy a bed but can't be bothered to rent a van. Thanks!

patroclus said...

Any time, Merkin. If there's one thing I *love*, it's driving a van. Especially if I also get to smoke prodigiously and swear at other road users. Heaven.

patroclus said...

Ooh, and UC, *nice* bit of French. Many thanks for raising the tone and making this blog look so cosmopolitan. Super.

cello said...

You can never have too many fairy-lights. Or big vans. Or trendy lampshades. Or lists, for that matter.

patroclus said...

Cello, you are so right. And while it's still today, I might add:

9. The pleasing effect created by the tails of the Qs in the title of this post

10. "Come Hell or High Water" by Barry Adamson. In fact, Barry Adamson in general. Where has he *been* all my life?

Clearly today can't get any better, so I'm going to quit now while I'm ahead.

cello said...

Night night.

Konrad said...

A picture of your eyebrows would be very nice. Konrad

surly girl said...

it's not a sparkly chandelier tho, is it?

ooh all the same tho.

Wyndham said...

I'm a bit concerned you're back on the fags, though. What happened? The more people who successfully give up, the more chance I've got!

What's threading?

patroclus said...

Wyndham, I'm ashamed to say I'm back on the fags (sorry, cigarettes - the South Coast gay mafia told me never to use the f-word) with a vengeance. It's the stress, see? With the marriage break-up and all that. (Which I am resolutely not going to write about for fear of turning into Liz Jones and incurring the (entirely justified) wrath of Pashmina.) That and the fact that I am a hopeless addict.

Threading is a form of modern torture that involves twisting cotton around unwanted hairs and pulling until they're forcibly uprooted from their follicles. It's very painful, but very much worth it.

Pashmina said...

P, unless you suddenly land a newspaper column on the subject you are safe from any kind of wrath on my account you know.

Lovely lovely lampshade, am extremely envious.

Also: threading - have long wanted to try this but my eyebrows are sadly depleted from twenty years of plucking. Am disappointed to hear of its high pain quotient however.

cello said...

Why is threading preferable to tweezers? Do tell.

patroclus said...

Well, as anyone who's ever seen my eyebrows will have realised, I'm no expert in these matters, but apparently with threading the hairs grow back weaker and more slowly. Plus it's fashionable (apparently), and therefore they can charge you more, or something.

Kalista said...

I've never had to pluck my eyebrows, as they seem to naturally sit in the perfect shape. God this combined with no scars, I am a freak.

I suggest not only getting one lampshade, but two patroclus. That is, afterall, what disposable income is for (and it would go v nicely with your tasty red leather sofa that you oft mention, that sounds exceptionally spiffy)

patroclus said...

You're a very lucky freak, Kalista (and I don't think I've ever said that to anybody before!).

I was indeed toying with the idea of getting two of these lampshades. Of course at this point I don't know how much they cost, probably millions. But they won't be going anywhere near the sofa - one's for the hall and one's for the bedroom.

Next week: An in-depth exposé of the contents of my fridge.

belladona said...

Ah, I just wrote the wittiest post ever. In the world.
Never mind.
Actually it was a weak pun about the gnomes of zurich who were mentioned just now on mastermind.
Isn't this new thing of having to type in stupid letters every time you want to post something irritating? Obviously not helped by my computer constantly being weird.

Pashmina said...

You will be pleased to hear, Patroclus, that not only did you come up as an answer in last night's Mastermind but also, last time I checked, those Mibo lampshades were very reasonably priced.

Go on, get two.

patroclus said...

Oh oh, how did they pronounce my name? I've never known the correct pronunciation, which has led to all kinds of awkward social situations. Well, one.

And top info on the lampshades. Oxo Tower here I come!

And, and, good to see you bella! Were the Gnomes of Zurich actually real, then, or did someone on Mastermind actually have GW as a specialist subject?

Merkin said...

Incidentally, how did you come by your moniker, Miss P?

The best friend and lover of Achilles seems a little odd choice for an enigmatic female copywriter. But what do I know?!

Pashmina said...

I think the Gnomes of Zurich are meant to be bankers, aren't they? In fact, does Guy say that? Clearly losing my touch, GW-wise.

Glad I wasn't the only one watching Mastermind. The question was something like "who was killed by Hector wearing the armour of his friend Achilles?" and Humphrys (because the hapless contestant didn't know, if you can believe that) pronounced it "Pat-ROC-lus", which is how I'd say it too.

surly girl said...

oh, and p, yes. bruce willis was indeed very very sexy in moonlighting.

patroclus said...

Merkin: If I told you that, it would destroy my whole enigmatic aura, and that would *never* do.

Pash: Phew, that's how I've always pronounced it. I wish I'd seen Mastermind, I'd have felt all warm and special. Sadly I was on a late-night trip to IKEA buying Limbo lamps and stripy boxes, mmm.

Surly: Thanks for the confirmation. I thought as much.

Stef the engineer said...

Never mind the eyebrows, the van, and the lampshade - can you come and sort out our comedy central heating? I read the rest of your list with my jaw on the floor in amazement.
I'll even put the four sugars in the tea for you.

patroclus said...

Ahh, Stef, if I told you what the problem was and how I came to fix it, you wouldn't be wanting me anywhere near your plumbing. Or your tea.

Suffice to say the whole episode was very, very girly.

Pashmina said...

Limbo, eh? Very nice - may I ask what colour?

patroclus said...

The pale green ones. I meant to get two the same, with the intertwining stripes, but instead I got one with intertwining stripes and one with a wide green stripe. Is this making sense?

Hmm, my blog is rapidly turning into a downmarket version of Elle Deco. Which is just fine by me.

Pashmina said...

Makes perfect sense, thank you - the intertwining stripe would have been my choice, too. Both that and the green one are much nicer than the grey squiggly version.

I could go on like this all day, believe me.

Kalista said...

The best thing I've ever got from ikea is a retro orange and pink pillowcase for 90p. Bargain.

A lucky freak, ah, patroclus, I'm honored!

patroclus said...

Perhaps a new job at Elle Deco beckons? Imagine all the things PRs would send you! You'd never have to buy anything again, interiors-wise.

Pashmina said...

I have to say, in some ways that would be my dream job... apart from having to work with all the vacuous narcissistic idiots in the interiors business, obviously.

patroclus said...

Yes, but all that would be great material for your secret interiors-related comedy script...

Can you tell I've thought about this quite a bit?

Pashmina said...

Clearly even more than I have. What a fabulous idea though. Absolute Power meets Ab Fab...

cartoons! said...

oooh! coffee and cigarettes. i used to enjoy those...until my c&c partner in crime decided to quit smoking on me. i also adore that lampshade. kinda jealous.