Friday, May 09, 2008

Oh Dear, Oh Dear

Evil Tim Footman has tagged me to tell lies about the Chuckle Brothers on the internet. Or more precisely, seven true facts and one lie. And only about one of the Chuckle Brothers. And you have to guess which fact is factually incorrect.

I can choose which Chuckle Brother I want to lie about, apparently, although up until a few minutes ago that was something of a moot point, since up until a few minutes ago I had no idea who the Chuckle Brothers actually are.

(I know! And me with a Masters degree in popular culture and everything! Raymond Williams would be awfully disappointed.)

All the name conjured up in my head was a rather confusing montage of Chuck Norris and those two scousers from Harry Enfield who say 'calm down calm down' and bob from side to side.

I have since established that the Chuckle Brothers are neither martial arts action heroes nor comedy Northerners from a TV sketch show. I had to find this out for myself, because Mr BC was no real help in the matter:

Me: Do you know anything about the Chuckle Brothers?

Mr BC: Hmm. I think Richard wrote an episode for them once.

Me: Anything else?

Mr BC thinks for a moment.

Mr BC: No.

Anyway, these days we are fortunate enough to have access to an oracular fount of human knowledge, namely 'the' Wikipedia. Here are some facts that I sourced from 'the' Wikipedia about Paul Chuckle, who is one of the Chuckle Brothers. One of them is factually inaccurate. Can you spot which one?

1. Paul Chuckle (real name Paul Elliot) is one of the Chuckle Brothers.

2. Paul is a comedy Northerner, but not one from a TV sketch show.

3. That's not to say that Paul isn't in a TV show, because he is. It's called Chuckle Vision, and it's meant for children, which is why I've never seen it. (This will probably change soon.)

4. Paul has a catchphrase, but it isn't 'calm down calm down'. It's the equally lexically economical 'oh dear oh dear'.

5. When Paul crashed a motorbike while on holiday in Kefalonia, he was dismayed to discover that, far from rushing to his aid, a number of onlookers had instead chosen to loiter at a distance intoning 'oh dear oh dear' in a comedy Northern accent. That, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the occupational hazards of showbusiness.

6. Or they might have been actual Northerners who were just saying 'oh dear oh dear' in a concerned tone, only in his disorientated state, Paul mistook them for fans. A loss of perspective regarding one's own importance in the grand scheme of things is another of the occupational hazards of showbusiness.

7. Also, this was reported in the Metro, so it might all have been made up to start with.

8. Paul and his brother Barry are very popular in Mexico, where they are known as Los Hermanos Chupacabras.

Los hermanos Chupacabras: ¡uy uy uy!

Erm...over to you.

UPDATE: Far better efforts are to be found at Slaminsky (Perkin Warbeck), First Nations (Friedrich Nietzche), Betty's Utility Room (Israel Kamakawiwo'ole) and Geoff's blog (Madame Blavatsky)...


spence said...

My children LOVE the Chuckle Brothers and I must say I look at them very differently since I discovered the lovely Mr Preddy had written for them.

Isn't the catch phrase 'To me, to you'.......

Annie said...

'Chupacabras'? Suck goats? Those crazy Mexicans.

I didn't realise we were supposed to do seven true facts and one lie, I made most of it up. I'm a bad, inattentive blogger.

chatterbox said...

I saw the Chuckle brothers live and have their autographs if anyone is interested...


My kids did love them, but are now massively embarrassed by the whole thing - this is good as it gives me leverage.

Jayne said...

Are these real people? Seriously? The pic looks like some horrendous end of the pier act from the 70's. You'll be telling me The Krankies were real next...

Tim Footman said...

You fancy them.

Valerie said...

At least you mentioned the Chupacabra ("goatsucker," Annie), possibly mythical monster and one of my all-time favorite words.

Plus, you can sing "La Chupacabra" to the tune of "La Cucaracha." But I guess maybe only us Southern California types do that.

"Chupacabra" was the most-used noun in my office for about six months about ten years ago. We used to substitute it for places where we'd otherwise use "thingie." As in, "Did you get the, you know, the chupacabra that Jim left on his whatsie-hoosis? The one that Dr. Chupacabra called about?" "oh, oh, the CHUPACABRA... uh.. no."

Perhaps you had to be there.

patroclus said...

Spence: Yes, apparently 'to me, to you' is another one. But this is only according to Wikipedia, so I bow to your superior first-hand knowledge.

Annie: I'm not sure I stuck very rigidly to the 'seven true facts and one lie' thing either. Yours was great, btw, it made me giggle.

Chatterbox: This is good, as long as your kids remain unaware that some of us (mentioning no names, mostly because it would take too long) once went slightly overboard on the C4 chat forums...

Jayne: I think they've been going *since* the 70s, so you may well be right. The Krankies were not real but an artificial construct created to encourage us to consider whether there is, in fact, a purpose to human existence.

Tim: You smell of poo.

Valerie: Ha, me too - in fact when I once vaguely attempted to write a sitcom, one of the main characters was called Alberto Chupacabras. I've never thought about singing 'La Chupacabra' to the tune of 'La Cucuracha', but I will now. Incessantly, probably.

Albert said...

The Chuckle Brothers give me the fear. I loathed them as a child. I loathe them now. Please write another blog post so I don't have to think about them any more.

P.S. I met the Krankies. Mum and Dad made me go on stage with them at Eden Court Theatre and do the conga. Christ I'm glad childhood is over.

patroclus said...

Albert: I'm finding it a bit unsettling too. Hm, must find something else to write about...

Marsha said...

"it's meant for children, which is why I've never seen it. (This will probably change soon.)"

PLEASE, for your own sanity, make sure this never does change!

Fat Roland said...

I've had the "Ch-Chucklevision" theme tune in my head all day because of this post.

cello said...

What happened to the guessing? Is everyone too cool to follow the rules? I'm going to accuse the Elliot bit, without looking anything up.

Fat Roland said...

The Mexican bit. Or the motorbike bit. No. The Mexican bit. Wait. Yes. The Mexican bit. Definitely the Mexican bit.

coffee said...

out of all the mythical, blood sucking creatures out there, the Chupacabra is almost certainly the sneakiest