Thursday, April 03, 2008

'Intelligent Glass'

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT


MR BC and PATROCLUS are in bed (not in that way).


ME: I think they've over-engineered that bathroom door.

MR BC: Hmm?

ME: Well, earlier it was opaque. Now it's see-through.

MR BC: -

ME: It must have some kind of special sensor. So it knows when someone's in there.

MR BC: -

ME: Like the bins they've got in my client's toilets, which sense when you're approaching, and open automatically.

MR BC: -

ME: I always thought that was a total waste of money. I mean, who can't open a bin?

MR BC: Mm.

ME: Their paper towel dispensers do the same - they sense your hand going up to them, and they dispense a paper towel. Ridiculous.

MR BC: -

ME: You'd have thought Radisson would have better things to spend its money on than 'intelligent glass'. Bigger rooms, for a start. This one's tiny.

MR BC: Patroclus.

ME: Mmm?

MR BC: The door's open.

13 comments:

spence said...

hahahahaha, its ok your pregnant you can get away with it! ;-)

patroclus said...

In my defence, I didn't have my glasses on.

Hannah said...

HAH! Fabulous.

(I've never heard of self-dispensing paper towels. Ludicrous.)

Dave said...

In your defence, there is a kind of glass that goes opaque when an electrical current is passed through it (I saw it on Grand Designs) so it would be quite possible to install a contact on the doorframe, so that every time the door was shut it would blank out the view.

Just not quite sure what the purpose of having a clear, but open, door would be. Perhaps I won't go any further with my design plans just yet.

patroclus said...

Hannah: The client is in the tech industry, so I expect they're just showing off.

Dave: Ah, now, you see, that's exactly what I thought they'd done. Thank you!

Dave said...

It's when the door thanks you for using it, and hopes you enjoyed your transit experience that you need to start worrying.

red said...

fabulous. you nut.

patroclus said...

I seem to be sliding inexorably into imbecility.

Still, at least it gives me something to blog about.

nuttycow said...

*giggle*

Silly silly woman.

You do make me laugh though!

Tim Footman said...

(Places tongue behind lower lip...)

Valerie said...

I blame this on your career. Really, when you spend your life focused on technological advancements, I think you can be forgiven for seeing them behind every (mechanized, of course) tree.

Speaking of technology using up every tree, or something like that, in a now-common twist of "Vernor Vinge writes the science fiction, and two years later it becomes reality," Google has begun digitizing all of UC San Diego's library books. (Fortunately, unlike in his novel, they aren't shredding them to do it.)

I don't know what that has to do with invisible bathroom doors, mind you. It just popped into my head.

I guess you've read about the transparent toilets in Germany on Alda's blog, then?

Boz said...

Why is energy being wasted on opening bins!? What's wrong with a good old fashioned pedal.

Rosie said...

your story reminds me of a visit to a DIY shop with my brother where he stood in front of the little gate at the entrance looking perplexed and waiting for it to open automagically until a kid bustled past him, opening the patently manual gate with her pudgy little hands.