Friday, December 15, 2006

Pop Cult

As ordained in the scriptures, I am now Patroclus MA (Pop Cult). Woo! Who wants in? You get to wear pink robes and worship at the shrine of Baudrillard and everything. Polygamy is optional.


UPDATE: To mark this rite of passage, I am declaring a full-on Qualification Amnesty. Please therefore take this opportunity to list your qualifications in the comments. I want the lot!

62 comments:

Dave again said...

Congrats.

Dave Ma (Theol)

[Who is so glad that there's still one blog on which I am able to leave comments - everyone else has locked me out)

Spinsterella said...

Woo - congratulations!

Can we all join your cult? (I'm not reading Cryptonecromancer or whatever mind.)

Spinny (A very dull BA (Hist))

Smat said...

wow, congratulations! Do we have to curtsey?

patroclus said...

Thanks all, and thanks for all previous messages of support and encouragement too.

Dave: Sorry about the blasphemous equation of the scriptures with this here blog. But rest assured I shan't be upgrading to Beta Blogger unless they actually threaten to shut me down.

Spin: You are already an honorary member of my cult. Reading of N. Stephenson is optional, especially for those who've advanced straight to Pynchon without collecting any piratical pieces of eight.

Smat: Thank you! Only if you do it between asterisks.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Nothing could be cooler than that.

Annie Atkins BA (Visual Information Design)

Anonymous said...

Very cool! So you basically have a degree in blogging, yes?

Loganoc... (debating wether she can really boast with her various boring degrees)(oh well when do I ever get the opportunity) MSci MA MPhil cantab (physics/fluid mechanics).

*crawls back under rock*

Geoff said...

I'll join the Elliott Smith cult.

On second thoughts that sounds a little dangerous.

Congratulations.

patroclus said...

Geoff, I wouldn't do that if I were you - you might have to stab yourself to death and write a suicide note in which you suspiciously spell your name with just one 'f'. I was actually going to write a whole post about Elliott Smith, that'll be something for everyone to look forward to, eh? Still, there'll be free mp3s with it. Please don't go aw- oh.

Loganoc: This is very impressive. I always thought the 'Phil' in MPhil stood for Philosophy. Are you qualified in the philosophy of fluid mechanics? Because that's something I'd really like to hear about. Hmm...conceives half-baked plan to establish Open University lecture series on blog, now that it's gone from the telly.

I suppose I have a degree in blogging, and The Simpsons, and Alien, and raving, and Independence Day, and all the other things I've written about over the years. Or as the Daily Mail would have it, a Mickey Mouse degree in nothing remotely useful. Well ner-ner-ner, because I enjoyed it.

Annie: Now I would give anything to be skilled in visual information design, but I can't do art for toffee.

Anonymous said...

"Phil" does stand for Philosophy, but in the old-fashioned way, where philosophy is synonymous with any sort of useless (as opposed to farmwork and cooking) learning. At least that's how I understand it. The MA is also not in arts, but is just a free bollocks degree that you get given for no reason 3 years after graduating from Cambridge. Now THAT's Mickey Mouse.

Mangonel said...

Do they have to be pink?

Mango (BA (Hons) (Exon))

Billy said...

Wa-hey! A non sinister cult. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!

Taiga the Fox (MA (ArtHist), mama (BoRed))

Tabby Rabbit said...

Woohoo! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

patroclus said...

Mango: Yes. Pink robes are not optional. And ooh, we went to the same place! Although I may have known that already, in which case, forget I mentioned it again.

Cleavers said...

Hey, congrats!

Cleavers MA (Mod Langs) Oxon

(same Mickey Mouse type degree as Loganoc!)

BiB said...

A gazillion congratulations. I'll join your cult if it means we can all come and live in the south of France.

BiB (BA (Hons (I think)) Russian Language and Literature) (Greek O Level, grade C (thereby ruining my school's 18,000 year history of As only in said subject))

Valerie said...

I will never be so cool. Pop Cult indeed!

I have BA in Cognitive Science/Psychology, PhD in Experimental Psychology (Human Vision).

Come to think of it, the Human Vision bit sounds semi-cool, until you know that it's "eyes and brains" rather than "Valerie's Master Plan for the Betterment of the Race"

Betty said...

Congratulations. You deserve it.

To everyone else who has surreptitiously left their post graduate qualifications on here ... I DON'T HAVE A DEGREE.

Will an RSA Stage 2 combined Typing And How To Behave Like A Nice Young Lady, and some very late maths homework do?

Mangonel said...

No you never said! At a guess, Queens Building?

patroclus said...

Thanks all! (again).

Mango: Indeed. And yourself? I think some sort of secret handshake may be in order.

Valerie said...

And I forgot to say: Congratulations on your attainment of such serious coolness!

Valerie said...

betty.. you may be cooler than all of us. Smarter at least.

Anonymous said...

I don't do pink.

C. Bitch, BA (Hons Eng, Bot), Ma (Eng)


MAD PROPS!!!!!

patroclus said...

Thanks CB. I don't know what mad props are though - they sound like something Ken Dodd might carry around.

English and Botany? Wow. Actually in your pic, is that Chaucer (or CHANCER, as they call him here) making some kind of botanical study of his own?

Lorna said...

Many, many congratulations! You could reward yourself with cake - cake and fine wine...

Lorna
MA Cantab (books), MA Leeds (more books), PhD Cantab (will the books never end?), on the way to MA-LIS (doing stuff to other people's books. And going 'shhh!', obviously)

patroclus said...

Mm, cake...and the finest wines known to humanity. Good idea!

Actually this has all cheered me up no end, because basically the tutor phoned me up all outraged and indignant that they hadn't given me a distinction, and apparently he'd had some kind of scrap with the Second Examiner, who had apparently disagreed with the First Examiner, who thought it should have a distinction, and now he wants me to appeal, so it can go to a Fourth Examiner (I don't know or can't remember the opinion of the Third Examiner) and thus preserve his reputation for turning out brilliant cultural theorists rather than flaky Mickey Mouse layabouts like me. I told him I wasn't bothered either way (true), but if it made him happier I could appeal. So apparently we are going to appeal, as soon as get back to London. Gawd. I've been doing this degree for six years. Will it never end?

james henry said...

I have Mining Skills of 121 and Blacksmithing of 102, as well as Two-Handed Mace skill of 98, and Cleave, which lets you glow green and hit two foes at once.

Tabby Rabbit said...

I didn't leave my letters as a: I didn't read that far down and b: they are so irrelevant to what I do

Just in case I completely forget what they are I do have the certficates - recently uncovered as I had to show them to the US Government for a work permit - (cos you need a degree in Zoology, an insight into dinosaur evolution and a working knowledge of Pathology to work at a desk in the US).

Dave again said...

I, of course, had posted my first comment before your update. So in a spirit of delighting in the freedom to comment on your blog, unlike that elite beta group, who will regret it one day when their new shiny edifice falls down because they foundations weren't up to scratch, can I just say it's been a delight to comment here.

Rev. Dr. Dave, Cycling Proficiency Badge, Amateur Fencing Association bronze award, ACII, 11 o-levels, 3 A's, CMS, MA (a proper one, not one of those you get for staying alive for 3 years), PhD (Theol) and Fielder of the Year award (Loddon Cricket Club, 2004).

violetforthemoment said...

Congratulations! And to the rest of you intimidatingly-qualified people, crikey. I know violet and pink go quite well together but pink does nowt for my complexion - traditional black? With spangles, perhaps?

violetforthemoment BSc (Hons) Criminal Justice, Diploma in Probation Studies

patroclus said...

Wow - I'm beginning to think that if we all got together, we could probably solve every problem known to mankind.

Like, erm, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Which is something that James started to tell me about once, but I must have fallen asleep or something, because all I (vaguely) remember is that Sean Connery had something to do with it.

*awaits stern telling-off*

Spinsterella said...

Now hang on a fricking minute.

If you go to Oxford or Cambridge they turn your bog-standard old BA (or BSc one assumes) into a masters after three years FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON???

What a load of old bollocks.

Spinny, who would have done a Masters and a proper one at that if she could have remotely afforded it.

Marsha Klein said...

Congratulations, Patroclus!

Re: your previous post: Life, eh? It's never straightforward is it? If you were in one of those rom-com-type movies, you and your best beloved would decamp to the S. of France and establish a big, commune-y thing, and spend loads of time waxing lyrical about how "Life's just so much more MEANINGFUL away from the big city", but real life is just a tiny bit more complicated.

M Klein M.A.(Hons) (English Lang. & Lit.), M.Sc. (Soc.Sci.) - the fast-track to becoming unemployable!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, P does that mean we can read the whole thesis now?
Dr. realdoc MA(Hons)cantab Bchir Also a recipient of the magically appearing 3 year MA.
Some swimming certificates.
Advanced diploma in family planning, comes in useful, I'm you know, really good at putting on condoms or something.
My robes had some dead animal attached if that's important.

Urban Chick said...

ba (hons) with disctinction in chattiness in foreign language

but the ones that *really* count are of course my BAGA awards grade 3&4 (including forward roll and prolonged headstand) and scottish diver (apparently people very frequently require people to don pyjamas and dive into indoor pools to retrieve their lost bricks - never 'appened to me, mind)

ooh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!

Annie said...

Congratulations! Too cool... I know you posted some of it, but do we get to read your dissertation (or whatever it is you have to do for the Pop Cult MA... or is it in fact this blog itself?)

Annie (MA Film Studies, UEA. Comes in very handy when teaching five year olds, I can tell you.)

Mangonel said...

Gareth Roberts? Chris Brooks? Maybe Richard Maltby? Dr Michael Swanton *swoon*? Gamini Salgado, or had he popped his clogs already?

Could we compromise on Burnished Apricot, and I'll stand in the back?

james henry said...

I don't know why I bother trying to explain Alan Moore-created intertextual literary superhero crossover teams to you, really I don't.

*despairs*

Smat said...

as you know I have no qualifications whatsoever (other than 2 1/2 A levels) but Mr Smat is BA (Hons), FCCA, CTA, FPC, which is almost as many letters as in his (real) name. As he mentions with less frequency now that he's realised how expensive my OU stuff is.

Anonymous said...

Many congratulations, P.

OPC - Academically Legitimised Neurosis BA(Hons), or European Philosophy & Literature as they insisted on calling it.

Tim Footman said...

May I blame the time difference for my being the last to congratulate you, sweetie. And I suppose I'd better get my own bloody skates on if I'm to improve on my own BA (2:1 Eng Lit) and a meaningless TEFL qualification that I did online.

I even failed my cycling proficiency test.

Spinsterella said...

Come on Tim - no-one fails their cycling proficiency test...

Even the two token ESNs in my class at school flew through it.

patroclus said...

Ooh, thanks everyone (again).

Mango: None of those names means anything to me, although I looked them up and can only conclude that you did a degree in the semiotics of witchcraft as displayed in Broadway performances of Jacobean plays, which is wayyyy cooler than my BA Comb. Hons. in French and Italian.

Interpreter Pavlov said...

Oh, fantastic! Well done, tho' we never doubted it. Proud to walk in your shadow...

IP: Grampian Region Ski Instructor, Grade A.
(Pink salopettes)

WV: HUGZH. Sure. From all your loyal readers.

the whales said...

Many congrats, Patroclus. I'm always impressed at people who take on studying when they're also working for a living. I could never find the time or the self-discipline. What's next?!

The Whales, BSc (Physics with Astrophysics), DPhil (Theoretical Cosmology)

the whales said...

Oh, and PGCE! How the flaming hell could i forget the past year?!

Tedward's Missing Ear said...

Congratulations, I dare say Lauren Laverne will be interviewing you before the week's out.

TME
LLB(hons)Law C.P.L.S.
St John's Ambulance First Aid Cert.
Life Saving Bronze Medallion
em. That's about it.

Tim Footman said...

Mangonel: Right building, wrong subject for Patroc. She's got a degree in talking foreign; you (I presume) and I got it in talking our own language, which is pretty fucking remedial if you ask me. I remember most of those names, except for Salgado, who died before I got to Exeter, although I did sleep with his step-daughter, but that's another story. Brooks and Roberts also croaked a few years back.

Spin: Yes, I failed. I am lower than the specials. So there.

Betty said...

Reading the comments here has made the downtrodden prole chip on my shoulder grow even larger, and now there's a huge inferiority complex on the other shoulder to balance it out.

I didn't even take the Cycling Prociency test, or participate in the Duke Of Edinburgh Awards.

By the way ... "mad props". This is what we rock hard hip hop bee-yatches say by way of compliment. It derives from the expression "proper respects", I think.

I ain't got nunnah them paper qualifications, but I'm down with my peeps. Or summat.

patroclus said...

>>although I did sleep with his step-daughter, but that's another story.<<

Wow, what with this and IP's skiing prowess and violet's crimebusting degree and Whales's astrophysics knowledge, we have all the makings of some sort of academically-themed Bond movie. Bags be a mousy bespectacled pop culture academic who's miraculously revealed to be a saucy blonde foreign-language talking double agent when I take my glasses off. Or the other way round, I forget.

patroclus said...

PS Oh god Betty, I did the Duke of Edinburgh Award and everything. I didn't finish it, though, if that counts for anything.

Hmm, there's no way I can pretend I'm not ridiculously middle class, is there? I really hope I'm not this bad, though.

On a serious note, I would recommend the Open University to anyone. They get laughed at and everything, but this degree course was absolutely brilliant, I learned tons and tons of stuff I wouldn't have known otherwise, and it means I can just about keep up with what Tim goes on about on his blog.

Dave again said...

'some sort of academically-themed Bond movie.'

I rather suspect I'd be a mousy bespectacled comedy clergyman who accidentally gets shot, whereupon his glasses fall off, and he is revealed to be a mousy despectacled comedy clergyman.

Stef the engineer said...

Congrats!

Stef

I love it that you asked! How often to I get to put them down?

MA (Cantab) - (cheaty one, really only a BA, as loganoc says)
MSc - proper one from a London place
DIC - cheaty diploma from a London place which pulls a similar scam to Oxbridge, but doesn't get castigated for it!
PhD - hurrah! Yes, I'm Doctor Stef. ("Finite Element Modelling of Crack Growth in Composite Laminates")

(Still intellectually inferior to wifey; she's snuck in a crafty MBA and LLM in addition to HER MA (Oxon.) and PhD. I'm sadly addicted to brainy women :-()

patroclus said...

Stef! You win hands down*! I'm honoured and privileged to have someone reading my blog who has a PhD in Finite Element Modelling of Crack Growth in Composite Laminates.

(Wait a second though, isn't that like having a PhD in watching paint dry?)

And as for wifey, well none of us is worthy, I don't think. Plus you've just single-handedly disproved Spinny's Theorem that blokes only like dim-witted girlie girls.

* I know, I know, it's not a competition.

james henry said...

Ooh Dave made me laugh.

extemporanea said...

Hearty congrats, Patroc! I think my degree in fairy tale is pretty cool, but not nearly as cool as pop cult, which is a study considered by my reactionary and politically correct dept. to be frivolous and meaningless. Hah! The fools!

extemporanea (BA (Hons), MA, PhD, since Souf Africa makes you get them all separately. None of this three-year undergrad MA, pshaw! That's over 12 years of degrees there).

Stef the engineer said...

extemporanea: Oh lordy - if I wasn't already married...

frangelita said...

Your qualification is way cooler than mine. Although along with my BA in Multimedia Journalism and NCE in, err, Journalism, I can also boast Gold Top Milk Triple Gold Award in gymnastics (requiring me to do the splits on both legs and a backflip) and all those BAGA things. Never took my cycling proficiency because I was scared of cycling down hills, though.

Oh, and I have a Generally Not Very Qualified in Media communication and production. I got a distinction for that and everything.

Arabella said...

Hearty congratulations.
The certificate I treasure most is is for Library Lifting.

Tamburlaine said...

Congratulations - much impressed that you've managed a PG course while working. I found it very difficult (in fact, failed to complete even one module).

I've read several Neal Stephenson novels though, if that helps.

Tamburlaine BSc. MSc.

GreatSheElephant said...

MA, MSc, ACIPR (should be M but the letter hasn´t arrived yet), FIDM.

Yeah.

GreatSheElephant said...

Oh - theoretically, the reason for the Oxbridge automatic MA is that if you still are alive and have 5 pounds to your name 3 years after graduating, that deserves some form of reward.