Monday, July 17, 2006

Pelargonium Update

The third pelargonium is still in situ, thanks, I like to think, to the near-ceaseless vigil I have been keeping over the last forty-eight hours. So I've only had four hours' sleep! Who cares! The security of my leafy ward is paramount.

So far it has not demonstrated any particular displays of gratitude for my watchfulness. At no point, for example, has it broken into a stirring rendition of 'I Will Always Love You', but that is because self-restraint and a stiff upper lip are all-pervasive attributes among the denizens of Quinquireme Towers.

Having now been forced to return to work in order to earn money and stuff, I have taken the precaution of drafting in a crack squad (well, one) of Cornish scriptwriters to maintain watch. These scriptwriting bodyguards are terribly expensive, though, always demanding payment in the finest Moleskine notebooks and suchlike, so I fear that later in the week I'll need to make alternative arrangements. Especially as on Wednesday night I'm scheduled to attend a launch event that worryingly promises to be like the party from Eyes Wide Shut held at the top of the Towering Inferno.

I would take the pelargonium with me, but I'm not confident that anyone is going to make it out alive. In fact if any of us live to see another blog post, it'll be a Hollywood feel-good miracle.

Stay tuned...

21 comments:

Tim Footman said...

"...the party from Eyes Wide Shut held at the top of the Towering Inferno..."

The prospect of Tom Cruise aflame has put a spring in my step and a whistle on my lips.

rockmother said...

Or Shelly Winters having to be slapped around the face really hard for crying too much and upsetting the other guests.

Billy said...

"a stirring rendition of 'I Will Always Love You'"

My flowers are more like wispy singer-songwriters, mores the pity.

GreatSheElephant said...

you've got me frightened about Wednesday now

cello said...

I would offer to foster it, but I'm off to Avignon - home of some great pelargoniums - in a few days myself.

We're going all the way on the train. I am very excited and hoping for a Hitchcock-like thriller to take place on board - or at the very least a repressed monochrome English flirtation (mr cello would never notice).

By the way, your attempt to hide behind Linnaeus over the correct name is just like calling Princess Di an ape.

james henry said...

I'm bringing my collapsable perimeter fence and an inflatable watchtower, just so you know.

Interpreter Pavlov said...

'Pone seram, cohibe.' Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?

[Cn. Perditus Pelargonius]

patroclus said...

GSE: Just my little joke. I'm sure the evening will pass without mishap, immolation or nudity.

Cello: I'll cross my fingers and hope that you get Brief Encounter, rather than Mission: Impossible (with flambéd Cruiser), Murder on the Orient Express, or that James Bond film where Jaws has to be pushed out the window.

James: Having spent half the morning giggling at the thought of the remaining pelargonium singing 'I Will Always Love You', I now plan to spend most of the afternoon giggling at the prospect of anyone singing 'All Along The Inflatable Watchtower'.

IP: A good point. Perhaps Suspect A will be custodiens custodes, in sinister fashion.

tom l said...

do you have a link to pelargonium-cam? (there has to be a better term!)

realdoc said...

I hope your pelargonium will sing the greatly superior Dolly Parton version of 'I will always love you'and not the one by that other shrieking harpie.

POE said...

Despite being completely au fait with James Bond, the first image to spring to mind was of Sean Connery throwing a shark out of a train window. There's a cross-over for you. Maybe I should approach Hollywood, it seems in keeping with their current film ideas.

I'd offer to take in your remaining pelargonium but I doubt it would survive the journey across London.

GreatSheElephant said...

count yourself lucky you weren't under the pelargonium pot when it was cast from the window.

Mits has just dropped a magazine box full of smart card trade literature and research reports (much of it written by me) on my head. I now have a splitting headache, a sore nose and red puffiness and grazes down the left side of my face.

I think I'd rather have an Archer Prewitt cd at present.

DavetheF said...

Pelargoniums grow wild here in the Cape. In fact yours are probably off in search of their roots.

frangelita said...

" I'm sure the evening will pass without mishap, immolation or nudity..." - I wouldn't bother going then, if I was you...

Spinsterella said...

The third pelargonium is still in situ....

Eh?

I go away for a couple of days and everyone's talking a different language.

Pela-what?

Molly Bloom said...

Attach some string to your pelargonium and then to your big toe...so that you can get some sleep chuck.

rockmother said...

Sod the rogue pelargonium - what exactly IS this party?

First Nations said...

tim footman has STOLEN MY COMMENT because he is JEALOUS (and smarter and earlier than me.)

is said pelargonium on a deck? because it could be a larger bird like a crow trying to pluck the whole plant for nesting and bashing the pot on the ground. i've lost two lychnis coronaria to crows here just like that.

patroclus said...

Oo, FN, that's an interesting theory. The pelargonium is on the outside windowsill, where the others were. Crows may be present in the area. You could be on to something.

GreatSheElephant said...

so the cat has been framed in other words

treespotter said...

this is strange, pavlov there just brought this post to my attention, but i got three little red fish, i think it's better than Pelargonium.

I even name them and we're bonding now. My sympathy to you dear, i know how you feel.