Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The Pepsi Max Big One Of Emotional Rollercoasters

Really quite unhappy now. Even the thought of my tasty new cherry-red leather sofa isn't cheering me up at all.

Have spent at least part of the afternoon debating which bus to throw myself under: the 440 is quite speedy and reckless and has the added advantage of passing through some nicely insalubrious locations (if I go, I'd like it to be outside the desolate sorting office up the back end of Bollo Lane). The E3, meanwhile, is slower and has a classier route (I don't really want to pass over to the Other Side outside the fancy lingerie emporium or the bespoke chocolatier, thanks very much), but has a definite bulk and weight advantage.

Wait a second...fancy lingerie emporium...bespoke chocolatier...both of them on my way home! That's me sorted for a top night of scoffing handmade chocolates on my tasty new cherry-red leather sofa while wearing frighteningly expensive underwear. Woo!

Now, if only I could get the telly to work...

...or if I had any cash at all to spend on frivolous non-essential items.


Looks like another lonely evening of fretting about the awfulness of the carpet is in store instead.

This is quite some ride.


cello said...

Yeh, but the Mighty Boosh is on. And the melted chocolate will wipe off your new Klippan very easily. It says so. And you didn't want that extremely uncomfortable underwear anyway because it might make you look like a prostitute. And you'd have ruined it with chocolate smudges.

So many reasons to be cheerful.

Key question though; is the telly working yet?

hen said...

Isn't "How to turn the TV on." chapter 3 of the co-dependants handbook. Just after "How to send us your credit card details"?

Wyndham said...

A lot of people have got into an awful lot of debt - £14 billions worth - in order to set a precedent to allow you to BUY yourself out of your depression. Can't turn the television on? Buy one that turns itself on.

If there is such a thing.

Konrad said...

I would be with you with the chocolate and the lingery on the red couch if I could. This sound very interesting :-)

Smat said...

have you plugged the telly in at the wall, and flicked on the switch? Have you checked there's electricity going to the socket by plugging in something you know works (lamp, hairdryer, fingers of small child)? I too could be a customer services person in a call centre in Bombay with that kind of advice.

patroclus said...

I have indeed Smat. The problem appears to be twofold:

1) I inadvertently stood on and crushed the aerial connector thing (wot in the old days used to be called a plug).

2) I have lost the remote control.

Otherwise, it all works fine. I spent a merry few minutes looking at the Main Menu for the Amélie DVD, but due to point 2 above, was unable to progress any further.

More updates as they come in. I'll stay with this one all year if I have to.

In the meantime, many thanks to you, the viewers, for your valuable comments and contributions.

Pashmina said...

You could get one of those universal remote things that also makes your DVD player multi-region. In fact I used to have one I could have given you but I managed to sell it on eBay for a loss (mis-calculated the postage).

patroclus said...

Excellent. I'll cover Turnham Green Terrace, you cover Marylebone High Street...

Must get new digital camera, and remember not to drop this one numerous times on to unyielding concrete surfaces.

patroclus said...

oops, wrong thread.

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