Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Question Time

People keep asking me questions that I can't answer. All I can do is gape at them and say 'well, er, I don't really...I mean I haven't really thought about it much, to be honest.'

Which is fine if the question is something like 'Are Ant & Dec a gestalt entity?', or 'Do cats have souls?'. Unfortunately, the questions that I keep getting asked tend to be more along the following lines:

  • Why are you leaving your job?

  • Why are you moving to Cornwall?

  • What are you going to do there?

  • How are you going to make a living?

  • Why do you keep making cakes?

I'm not sure that 'gaping' is an adequate, adult or mature response to any of these questions, to be frank, so later on I am going to sit down and write a detailed life plan for the next five years in a nice notebook.

Or I might just make another cake.

20 comments:

james henry said...

A lemon one please.

wyndham said...

Where is Cornwall again?

rach said...

A cake is the appropriate response to pretty much everything.

Banana cake, obviously. Although you can't go wrong with a good lemon drizzle.

Sylvia said...

Just tell everyone to sod off and mind their own business.

But make sure you let us have the answers first!

I prefer a chocolate one, myself.

patroclus said...

Ooh, I made a lovely banana and pecan cake at the weekend. And an apple and apricot and pecan cake that Delia said was easy, but which turned out to have about 3,000 ingredients, so it wasn't nearly as easy as the lemon drizzle cake, of which I expect I shall make more soon. And chocolate brownies.

(I am in the grip of Cake Fever, which is deeply out of character for me, as anyone who's known me for an appreciable length of time will confirm.)

Wyndham: It is over Bodmin way.

Spinsterella said...

People make cakes when they're happy, apparently.

I made one when I turned 30 a few years ago but I think that was just mild hysteria.

Arabella said...

Cake and why do not need to sit close to each other in a sentence (like this, albeit without a question mark). Yes please is the only sane response.

cello said...

Ginger for me please.

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Nothing is guaranteed to clear my mind as quickly as being asked those kinds of questions. Except sitting down and trying to make plans. It's not a good combination, really. Unlike banana and pecan, of course; offers of which cake I'd have thought would be more than sufficient to divert the attention of anyone asking awkward questions.

Hmm, maybe I should be baking distraction cake, too...

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

>>offers of which cake I'd have thought would be more than sufficient to divert the attention of anyone asking awkward questions<<

Erm, should, not would.

Tim Footman said...

It's obvious. She's going to make a living by baking cakes for Cornish people, because they still subsist on carrion and the seeds they find in bird poo.

But back to the Ant and Dec gestalt thing... what I want to know is, if you rearranged them, so that Dec were on the left and Ant were on the right, would it have disastrous consequences, like when the contents of two parallel universes collide? Or is there a parallel universe where everything is exactly the same, except that Ant and Dec are called Dec and Ant, and that's the order they stand in. Oh yes, and they don't demand "executive producer" credits either.

I second cello, though. Gotta be ginger.

James said...

Alternatively you could just answer in the following manner:

1. Because I am
2. Because I want to
3. Whatever I feel like
4. None of your business
5. Because you keep eating them

Betty said...

People always tend to ask questions that you don't want to answer or don't know the answer to. Such is life.

I haven't baked a cake since about 1981. Probably the last time I ate any as well. I put on weight too easily, so will just make do with a bowl of porridge I suppose.

cello said...

Can I just make it clear that I was talking about cake there.

Tim, there *is* a parallel world where Dec stands to the right of Ant (left as you look at them). A world where Tarbydum and Terrydee stage mock-battles and Paul O'Grady knits his own wigs in the back of taxis and Jon Snow falls off his bike and where everyone is revealed at the end to be engaged in a huge game of Family Fortunes. And I love it, I do.

Del said...

I think I might bake a cake, just to be enigmatic.

Kirses said...

just answer 'love'to all five questions.

Sean McManus said...

For just about any big decision, it's good enough to answer 'because it feels right'.

Boz said...

Clearly, in any civilised society, there should be no question around the baking of cakes. Praise be to the good people baking cakes. They must and should be encouraged at every turn.

Can you do a Marguerite Patten and bake without eggs?

Oh wait, I think I know how you're going to answer that question...

spence said...

I made a Christmas Cake today!

Anonymous said...

You should read that Wild Harvest by Hope L. Bourne then. Or maybe the people asking the questions should.