Friday, January 11, 2008

What Not To Wear

I have a spiffy* new drab-coloured knitted woollen dress thing, which I am very pleased with as I got it in the Monsoon sale for a mere twenty-five pounds. As it was in the sale I can only assume that drab knitted woollen dresses are now hopelessly unfashionable, which suits me fine, as 'hopelessly unfashionable' is my signature look and I am sticking to it.

(I have, for example, chosen to ignore the persistent skinny jeans and boots-on-the-outside trend, and blithely continue to wear bootcut jeans with nary a thought for what whatsername Carter-whatsit might have to say on the matter. Whatsername Carter-whatsit will get her comeuppances when the horrid skinny-jeans and boots-on-the-outside trend finally goes away and I will turn out to have been deeply stylish all along.)

Anyway, this morning I thought I would début this new dress to the world by wearing it to one of the West Country's hippest hangouts, viz. Costa Coffee in Falmouth High Street**. With some black opaque tights and black knee-length boots it would look quite the thing, I thought. Thus attired, I descended to the living room and declared myself ready to venture forth into Society.

'Oughtn't you to put some trousers on first?' asked Mr BC, mildly.


* Sorry, I've been reading P.G. Wodehouse.

** Which isn't actually its name at all.


james henry said...

Later, I locked her in the coal cellar for being such a WANTON FLOOZY.

Tim Footman said...

Is "drab" actually a colour?

(I'm not being facetious - I just don't know. Maybe I wear unfashionable bootcut jeans too, but I've not idea what they are.)

GreatSheElephant said...

Skinny jeans went away last year. You are deeply fashionable.

Actually you're not. This year's thing is almost identical to boot cut but just not boot cut.

I'm with James - that dress sounds like it should be over jeans.

Annie Rhiannon said...

I love the boots-on-the-outside trend, it's the best thing that ever happened to fashion. I don't care what their on the outside of: jeans, tights, skin, whatevs.

cello said...

There's no room on the inside of boots for all of my legs*, let alone stuffing trousers in there too.

I appreciate that made me sound multi-limbed, which is not so. I wouldn't want to make myself sound more exciting than I really am.

Willie Lupin said...

Don't apologise. If you read Wodehouse, you are a paragon of womanhood, whatever kind of jeans you wear.

PS: want to buy a kaftan. As new, one careful owner.

Valerie said...

I'm sticking with boot-cut primarily because, unlike Patroclus, I am plump, and boot-cut is marginally more flattering than form-fitting. But I will defend to the death a more petite person's right to choose boot-cut, too.

I will be a lone vote for the long-jumper + tights + boots thang. It's very Twiggy-retro.

Perhaps Mr BC is simply jealous that he can't get away with such an ensemble himself?

Betty said...

I like the idea of the woollen dress/opaque tights/boots combo as well, unless there are very high winds, which could cause all kinds of embarrassment if you walk past a building site.

At least you're in a relationship with someone who notices what you wear ...

patroclus said...

Tim: I think drab is a multitude of colours on the grey-sepia spectrum. This new dress is a kind of slate-grey colour, so my grandmother would be as disapproving of it as she is of all my other clothes.

GSE: It still seems to be going strong in Cornwall, although the knee-high boots people were wearing in London seem to have been replaced by Uggs down here. Something to do with surfing, probably, although what would I know.

Annie R: This is sensible fashion advice. Take heed, people: do not try to eat your footwear or insert it subcutaneously. It isn't a good look.

Cello: If you aren't multi-limbed, doesn't that mean you're some kind of mermaid? Which is far more exciting than the rest of us.

Willie: Rem acu tetigisti, sir. Also, it sounds like you might need the kaftan later in life. Better hang on to it.

Valerie: Exactly. Bootcut is flattering (especially for those of us of diminutive height), whereas the skinny jeans and boots were no good on anyone of less than Amazonian stature.

Betty: Thank you for the vote of confidence. Obviously I put some trousers on straightaway, though, thereby injecting a healthy shot of ambiguity into the phrase 'who wears the trousers in this relationship?'.

cello said...

...and a one-armed mermaid to boot. Yourtess ruthless logic scares me.

I'd really like to be a mermaid actually, but preferably with two arms, so that I could fashion attractive hair adornments from shells like Ariel does.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid working by the way, by my frequent visits here and elsewhere?

cello said...

Sorry about the reference to a female 'yourt' there.

Clair said...

It's a fact - boys just don't *get* the dress-over-jeans thing at all,even though it's the best thing since sliced bread. And I now no longer care about the cut or the brand of my jeans being fashionable, as long as the flatter my too-big waist but proportionately skinny thighs.

Paul Pennyfeather said...

Drab is a colour- at least according to Dulux.
My new kitchen will be painted with it next week.

patroclus said...

Cello: But if you were a mermaid you wouldn't be able to go on the trampoline, so it's all swings and roundabouts. And trampolines.

Clair: I have an idea that blokes don't so much 'not get' the dress-over-jeans thing as 'not notice' it. (Although I just asked Mr BC in the interests of research and he said that not only does he 'get it', he also 'likes it' and he thinks it 'looks nice'). Still, who cares - dress over jeans is great, and another thing that whatsername Carter-whatsit won't be talking me out of anytime soon.

PP: I heard that drab is the new white - you are so on-trend.

Rosie said...

i wore a drab-coloured knitted woollen dress thing for my date at the weekend (oh yeah, i know how to dress to please a man...)

it worked though.

cello said...

I bet it's a Farrow and Ball colour, PP.

wv is 'sixgod' which is so nearly what I'm looking for