Mozilla

Downloaded Mozilla so I can blog from my work laptop. I only had Netscape before, as by decree we're not supposed to use software from the Dark Side. However, the whole thing took about an hour so now I'm going to bed. H., on the other hand, is crafting a complex image of the Temple of Diana at Halicarcrashes, for b3ta.com. You can talk to him instead. You'll probably find him on EHA.

ECMS

Today I fulfilled a long-held plan and ordered a copy of The Early Christian Monuments of Scotland, which charts the location and design of every single Pictish symbol stone. With the help of this book, I will crack the code. Oh yes.

Random Celebrity Crime Incident

Ah, the Camden New Journal. They use Telewest, you know. That's probably why their links are all 404s and have comically unrelated filenames.

Anyway it's probably a good thing - reading about all that local violence could make you paranoid. Not that long ago I saw a guy kick another guy to death in Kentish Town Road, on an otherwise normal Saturday afternoon. In an unrelated incident, H. was asked by the police to stay away from a gun-wielding Adam Ant for his own safety.

But despite the murders and stabbings and muggings and the drunks being sick on the steps of the Kentish Town Baths, posh estate agents FPD Savills are seeing fit to ask £295,000 for a one-bedroom flat on Prince of Wales Road. This is the sort of thing that makes me think the property boom might come to an end quite soon.

The Kentish Town Fertility Escalator

Now-recovered cousin disclosed that she had been chatted up two days in a row at exactly the same spot - one third of the way up the up escalator in Kentish Town tube station. I think the Camden New Journal ought to be alerted to the presence of a Fertility Escalator in our midst.

SHIThole*

Oh no, I've just given my identity away on EHA! Today was scorching hot, so Andrew and I spent the afternoon in a darkened room preparing the first edition of SHIThole* magazine. My cousin has fallen ill, overwhelmed by the sight of smog-poisoned trees and the stench of human urine rising from the pavements. Truly earth hath nothing to show more fair than the alleyway round the back of Camden Town Dixons.

Heatwave

The heatwave has arrived in North London! Despite this, I am hunched over my two keyboards in a darkened room fiddling about with the work intranet. Yesterday my cousin arrived from Shanghai. Her first words were: "how nice to get back to London and see trees again!" Boy, things must be really bad in Shanghai. Watched a thing on the History Channel about the ancient Egyptians. No mention of whether Akhenaten was an alien, a loony or simply suffering from Marfan's Syndrome. In fact, there was no mention of Akhenaten at all. Spooky. Double-checked with the Mammoth Encyclopedia Of Unsolved Mysteries (lent to me by my brother), but he wasn't there either. Sinister.

Brussels

I can't quite believe this, but I just went to Brussels for lunch, and now I'm back at my desk in Kentish Town. I feel like Phil Collins at Live Aid.

Essay

Got my essay "What are the key recent trends in the transformation of the global media market?" back today from my tutor. He gave me 68% but refused to mark the paragraphs about the DMCA, Napster, Dmitry Sklyarov et al. Clearly, by "recent trends", what he actually meant was "trends from the 1980s". Still, this is an improvement on my last essay, which he refused to mark altogether. Apparently he has got e-mail at home now (welcome to the 1990s mate), so I can step up my flame war with him.

Anyway, Lordy, this is a blog and therefore one is supposed to link to things. Unfortunately I have spent the day swotting up on the forthcoming International Accounting Standards for work, and you sure as mustard don't want me to link to any of that. Instead, here's my Dad's site, which is all about his book about living in the Languedoc. You can buy a copy from him. Or pick it up in Nimes airport. And other good bookshops located in rural airports in the Languedoc.

How It All Began

Deep breath...hope this works!

This blog will be more or less dedicated to an exploration of the effects of Telewest on modern society, as represented by H. and me. Currently, H. and I are in the study. H. is posting rabid libertarian agit-prop on the This is London chat forum from the PC, I am blogging this blog from my laptop, the Delgados are playing on the PC. In the living room, the TV is playing the Simpsons to itself with the sound turned off.

In other Telewest-related news, last night's BBC4 documentary about tragic Linear B-deciphering genius Michael Ventris inspired me for about 30 seconds to resume my attempt to decipher the Pictish symbols and revive the lost Pictish language. Went to bed with W.A. Cummins' The Picts and Their Symbols but fell asleep straightaway. H. says that I'm just not obsessive enough.

Phew. I hope all those links worked out. I'm a bit new to all this.