INT. QUINQUIREME TOWERS - EVENING
The lovely Mr BC and I are in the living room, comparing our respective diets.
Me: I have a banana every day for lunch. And I used to have M&S Fruit and Nut Selection, but they seem to have discontinued it, probably because of the grub. So now I have something called Cranberry Surprise. At least I think it's called that.
Mr BC: What's the surprise?
Me (not listening): It might be called Cranberry Explosion.
Mr BC: Yes, that would be a surprise.
Me: The thing is, though, it has a picture of the cranberries on the front, and it says 'not actual size'. But when you tip them out, it turns out they are actually that size.
Mr BC: ...
Me: And that's another thing, on the picture it says 'serving suggestion', but it's just a picture of some cranberries on a table.
Mr BC: I bought a tin of plum tomatoes once, and it had a picture on it of some plum tomatoes in a bowl, and it said 'serving suggestion'. But it was just some plum tomatoes in a bowl.
Me: M&S don't even bother with a bowl. They're just, like, 'tip them on to the table'.
Mr BC: At least they didn't suggest you just tip them on to the floor.
Me: Or into the bin.
Mr BC: They should do that. 'Serving suggestion', and a picture of some cranberries in a bin.
Me: That would be quite nihilistic.
Mr BC: Yes.
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